Agreed! Who says I'm a lady!

I find it patronizing.

Curmudgeon by name and curmudgeon by nature?

It's patronizing in every way.

Deal with it. I will always use it

When a middle-aged male clerk calls me Sweet heart or My dear. (I'm a middle aged woman). I'm not your dear.

Similarly I find it ridiculous when some young guy tries flattery when I’m clearly old enough to be his grandmother. As if I don’t know what he’s doing lol. Just be respectful and we’ll get along just fine. I don’t need to be patronized.

Listen here, young lady, you probably look like the kind of Karen who needs someone to model kindness. Absorb it and pass it on.

"Boo hoo, someone tried to make me smile today. I feel so offended." Get off the cross. We need the wood to build a bridge so you can get over yourself.

I like the friend who has been using this term with me, and he thinks he's being affectionate, but actually I recoil when I hear it applied to me, and I'm going to have to mention it. I'm an adult woman, older. It's like being reduced somehow.

I hate being called "Ma'am". I'm not a ma'am", I'm a "Miss". If you want to be politically correct, you can say Ms, but if there's no ring on a woman's finger you can reasonably call her Miss.
Sure, a few don't wear their ring for whatever reason, but they're not going to bite your head off for calling them Miss.