Oh Gawd, Not Again

Picture this. You're a 20 something Health Sciences major at Sunday breakfast with the whole family and sitting across the table from your 49-year old dad, known for his really fucking weird food habits. You and everyone else can't help but watch and cringe as he smears some peanut butter and jam on a sausage and pops half of it into his mouth. Silence at the table. Like, what the fuck! I absolutely hate when he does things like this. It just freaks me the fuck out. He's my dad, and I love him, but I swear he does it on purpose just to get on my nerves.

14 Comments

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He....

Dec 27, 2021 at 11:48am

obviously feeds on your reaction....stop supplying him with sustenance.

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It could be worse....

Dec 27, 2021 at 1:14pm

At least he’s not walking around the house buck naked with only an apron and nothing else.....in front of everybody.
I have 2 male relatives who do that. So very disgusting.

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This...

Dec 27, 2021 at 1:56pm

... sounds good. Meat, sweet and nuts.

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Anonymous

Dec 27, 2021 at 3:21pm

Old school attention seeking. Be grateful he's not using social media.

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42

Dec 27, 2021 at 3:33pm

An Elvis (1935-1977) favorite, the Fool's Gold Loaf: 2 packs of bacon, and a whole jar of peanut butter and jam in bread!

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Family Traditions

Dec 27, 2021 at 3:57pm

At family dinners my working class grandfather would take out his false teeth. When my prissy mother had noticed his antics he would rap them in a clean handkerchief and place them on the table. My mother was horrified by his antics. My uncle and I loved quietly watching the family drama.

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KJ

Dec 27, 2021 at 6:23pm

His food experiments will be one of the funny stories you and your siblings or friends share after he dies. Let it go.

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@KJ

Dec 27, 2021 at 9:23pm

I was about to write basically the same comment. We all have our own idiosyncrasies, and they’re what make us unique. I say cherish the weirdness!

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And what exactly

Dec 28, 2021 at 6:13am

Does being a Health Science major have to do with your confession?

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northislandgal

Dec 28, 2021 at 8:00am

This is so funny WHY would you care what and how he eats?
would you like it if he commented/posted about how you dress?

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