Lessons and confessions

If someone gives you a glimpse of their ugly side early in a relationship, be warned. It is a test. The worst is yet to come. I learnt this the hard way.

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also

Jan 19, 2022 at 5:43am

water is wet.

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Details OP

Jan 19, 2022 at 7:16am

What did your boyfriend/girlfriend do in the beginning?

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Yep

Jan 19, 2022 at 11:03am

Absolutely. I used to have a rule ("ignore red flags at your peril") but gave someone the benefit of the doubt a few times because I'd been acquainted with him for many years prior to our marriage. Big mistake. Turns out that ugly side I saw (and ignored) was the harbinger of even uglier stuff to come. Wish I'd followed my own rule and then run like the wind (but thankfully the divorce is now behind me and I'm happier now). Best advice.

9 0Rating: +9

It would help

Jan 19, 2022 at 11:05am

(in the cases where this is actually a thing) if the person wasn't under extreme stress, trauma, torture, or psychoactive drugs.

That tends to make the "bad side" exist at all in some cases, and as permanent as those conditions are constant

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If they talk

Jan 19, 2022 at 12:33pm

a lot about their “needs”. RUN!!!

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What... relationship?

Jan 19, 2022 at 2:11pm

There is none; never has been

1 2Rating: -1

"When someone shows you who they are,

Jan 19, 2022 at 8:49pm

believe them the first time " - Maya Angelou

14 0Rating: +14

Sometimes we choose to see

Jan 19, 2022 at 8:53pm

what we hope things are like, rather than what things are really like. I've made this mistake several times at the beginning of relationships.

10 0Rating: +10

Truthiness

Jan 19, 2022 at 11:42pm

Those red flags are easily buried in the early days but are always glaring in retrospect.

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Yes

Jan 20, 2022 at 12:01am

And what an ugly side it was.
It's like a Cautionary Tale.
Damn
Happy Trails Now !

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