Lessons and confessions
posted January 18th, 2022 at 10:01 PM
If someone gives you a glimpse of their ugly side early in a relationship, be warned. It is a test. The worst is yet to come. I learnt this the hard way.
posted January 18th, 2022 at 10:01 PM
Dan offers some advice on where she might find it.
21 Comments
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Jan 19, 2022 at 5:43am
water is wet.
Details OP
Jan 19, 2022 at 7:16am
What did your boyfriend/girlfriend do in the beginning?
Yep
Jan 19, 2022 at 11:03am
Absolutely. I used to have a rule ("ignore red flags at your peril") but gave someone the benefit of the doubt a few times because I'd been acquainted with him for many years prior to our marriage. Big mistake. Turns out that ugly side I saw (and ignored) was the harbinger of even uglier stuff to come. Wish I'd followed my own rule and then run like the wind (but thankfully the divorce is now behind me and I'm happier now). Best advice.
It would help
Jan 19, 2022 at 11:05am
(in the cases where this is actually a thing) if the person wasn't under extreme stress, trauma, torture, or psychoactive drugs.
That tends to make the "bad side" exist at all in some cases, and as permanent as those conditions are constant
If they talk
Jan 19, 2022 at 12:33pm
a lot about their “needs”. RUN!!!
What... relationship?
Jan 19, 2022 at 2:11pm
There is none; never has been
"When someone shows you who they are,
Jan 19, 2022 at 8:49pm
believe them the first time " - Maya Angelou
Sometimes we choose to see
Jan 19, 2022 at 8:53pm
what we hope things are like, rather than what things are really like. I've made this mistake several times at the beginning of relationships.
Truthiness
Jan 19, 2022 at 11:42pm
Those red flags are easily buried in the early days but are always glaring in retrospect.
Yes
Jan 20, 2022 at 12:01am
And what an ugly side it was.
It's like a Cautionary Tale.
Damn
Happy Trails Now !
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