sometimes, like right now, i get overwhelmed because my parents love me, and i never saw my mom, and now she always texts me, just to let me know that's she thinking of me and that she loves me. i had all this resentment, but i really wanted my mom to love me deep down. as a child, i just wanted her to come and see me because nothing was stopping her. i cried a lot after christmas because my dad apologized for hurting me and wished he stood up for me more, he realized that i was completely neglected. it felt really good to be loved by my parents, for them to acknowledge the past. i feel like a child now. i'm twenty six and i'm sobbing because i'm so relieved to be loved by my parents. i never felt this love when i was a kid. they were both drunk and yelled at us all of the time. my sister is estranged from our family and she's got her own issues, but i guess in a way i held it together well enough. i have a hard time seeing her and accepting the way that she cut everyone off, but i understand. i'll always be her sister who lived that same life she did. i screwed up on a lot of things but i haven't fallen apart quite yet. in some ways, i'm really lucky. i'm grateful for my family and this life.