So tired

I’m tired of fighting. I’ve been doing it for my whole life. Fighting for my rights to be free from physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. Fighting to be brave, fighting depression and anxiety brought on by multiple traumas. I don’t want to have to be called a survivor, resilient, or tough. I just want to exist lightly. Without feeling this constant weight of all of the crises I’ve endured for almost 70 years. I don’t always feel strong even though I know I am. I just wish that I could lay my head down at night and relax into a peaceful sleep without having to battle to keep the intrusive memories and thoughts away. This is my wish. But I’ll still get up, put a smile on my old face, and get going with my day with a positive and hopefully optimistic mindset that I will be okay and things will happen as they’re meant to and I’ll deal with them as they occur. Deep breath.

4 Comments

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Thanks for your positivity

Apr 12, 2022 at 1:57pm

I'm in the same senior's boat and choose to simply keep paddling ... with rest stops of course :-)

7 2Rating: +5

Lay down your load

Apr 13, 2022 at 6:01am

Take your rightful place: the good Earth awaits

1 1Rating: 0

So tired

Apr 13, 2022 at 6:06pm

I keep praying for my own death but it never comes.
Like Ground hog day I wake up every morning to the same untimely death awaiting me but it never takes me away.
Am I in hell ?

3 0Rating: +3

northislandgal

Apr 14, 2022 at 7:46am

it is all too much

2 1Rating: +1

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