a glum whine

Suns out, long weekend coming up. But I get such a twisting feeling in my chest. No plans, no especially close friends to do something with. I'm not going to blame Vancouver, I'll have to take this, partly. Not from here originally, I ask pals if they want to do stuff, the ones who reply, will generally be no. But rarely any asking back at me at other times. Its difficult to fathom. Where I'm originally from , Im very close to my pals, despite the distance, so on a good day, Ill think, I am at least 'likable' . But I have to say the bad days of feeling like such a pariah, feel more plentiful when I see groups of people out having fun in the sun and going away long weekends/ My darker side yearns for cloudy / rainy days, as they at make my isolation a little less obvious

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Anonymous

May 19, 2022 at 9:58pm

The very worst of the worst are those social butterfly types who regale you with their social life, while misunderstanding the old adage:

"If you have many friends, then you have no friends"

11 2Rating: +9

Feeling it too

May 19, 2022 at 11:41pm

I’m born and raised here but due to circumstances I don’t have many friends. Most of them have moved away. I’ve also been a bit of a loner for most of my life, and only ever really wanted a few close friends. But since my long term relationship ended a year ago I’ve been so lonely. Almost always I’m alone. I’ve taken to staying inside all the time too, because my loneliness seems worse when I’m out watching other people having fun together. So weirdly, you’re not alone in your aloneness!

17 0Rating: +17

CovidClimateCrisisCuckoo Times

May 19, 2022 at 11:50pm

and the social entropy pushed to further pathetic places. Oh well, we are only in this school of hard knocks dimension for a minute then we go make an accounting of what we learnt. A'Ho

6 1Rating: +5

Aliens?

May 20, 2022 at 3:47am

I think you can blame the city to some extent, the people here make you feel like there's something wrong with you if you are too sociable. You won't get too close to a person because they're so self-involved that don't want to give anything back to a relationship. And many come off like they're performing and inauthentic because they're afraid to let anyone see the real person. Just a couple of observations, this city is weird.

15 1Rating: +14

@Feeling it too

May 20, 2022 at 8:47am

I can so relate. But about a week ago, I tried something different. When out for walks, I would count all the couples and happy families together, which made me feel more alone. So instead, I started counting people who were alone. By the time I hit 6, I was happily grinning at them. When I hit 10, I felt pretty good. There are more of us loners out there than we realize, if we look for them.

16 0Rating: +16

@Feeling it too

May 20, 2022 at 8:49am

I know exactly how you feel...my close friends have moved to other cities and I feel their absence fiercely. I see people out having fun and it exacerbates the loneliness.I spend far too much time on my own and while I enjoy my own company, it does get isolating.I'm also older and I find it becomes more difficult to meet new people. I have tried joining social clubs etc but usually these people attend with friends and while they're friendly, they don't seem interested in expanding their circle. And my job doesn't put me into contact with other employees so I don't have work friends either. I try to practice gratitude for the good things in my life but the loneliness is real.

19 0Rating: +19

Toronto is better

May 20, 2022 at 8:20pm

I've been here almost 4 years and it's been the most lonesome 4 years of my life. It's definitely not you: people really are strange here (even people I know who were born and raised here think so!).

11 0Rating: +11

Never used to be but yeah

May 20, 2022 at 11:07pm

I used to have a good crew of friends who I thought were real. Then my partner died (mid 30s, cancer) and they all scattered to the wind. I am alone most of the time now, and am too jaded and sick (long covid) to have energy to make new friends. My personality is in direct opposition to the life I live now, but I try to be grateful for what I have. I've been here for 10 years and the last two have been just brutally lonely. My life before feels like a dream. At least I have photos to prove that I'm not imagining it all!

8 0Rating: +8

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