I'm a nurse in critical care. Seen it all throughout the pandemic and came out a shell of a person. I see why patients complain about us having a lack of empathy, and being monsters overall. They're not wrong and I hate admitting that. I can't even describe how difficult these years have been, and we've been expected to maintain our cool throughout but in conditions like that, it was just not possible. I'm gonna put myself through de-escalation training all over again and try to rewire my brain to be the empathetic nurse I was before all this happened. I dont like who I've become. I never show my patients how little empathy I have for them when they aren't truly suffering, but I've gotten to the point where I dont feel the empathy that I normally would unless they are in seriously critical condition. Suffering is subjective and I want to re-teach that to myself until I genuinely feel it. I'm sorry to all patients who have experienced substandard care from a group of beyond exhausted nurses/docs. This is not how healthcare should be and I'm going to try and be better. PLEASE be patient with us--ill try and spread the word.