Treatment resistant depression is a private little hell.

So much time wasted, just trying to survive each day, doing basics. Now I'm in my 40's and I'm haunted that it's too late for hopes and dreams.


Post a Comment


May 20, 2022 at 3:07pm

For some people with severe or hard-to-treat depression, electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) is an option. This treatment, sometimes referred to as "electroshock therapy," has proven successful. One study of 39 people with treatment-resistant depression compared the effects of an antidepressant with ECT. After two to three weeks, 71% of people who received ECT had a positive response to treatment. But only 28% who received the antidepressant had a positive response after four weeks of treatment. The results were published in 1997 in the medical journal Acta Psychiatrica Scandinavia.

5 5Rating: 0

It's never too late.

May 20, 2022 at 4:29pm

Some times what one needs is a step of where or how to begin. If you've given up, then it's easier to try something you've never done but always kind of wanted to. Right before the pandemic, mine was lane swimming in a public pool. I was f-ing terrified, over 40 and it was an actual fear of mine. The first time I tried I got there early, in and out of the swim suit area quickly. into the pool before anyone. after my first lane I stood up and a seasoned older fellow said loudly "ARE YOU DONE YET?" That was my worst case scenario and after 40 + years it turned out exactly that way. But I kept lane swimming for a few months. I sucked at it. It is not something I do now, but checking off my bucket list of obtainable things was a start. I bought a used mountain bike($350) and started mountain biking for the first time as the next thing... and on and on and on. :)

10 0Rating: +10

I'm skeptical of the electric shock freakment

May 20, 2022 at 6:15pm

When Paulo Coelho, author of 'The Alchemist' was an adolescent in Brazil his parents did not approve of his creative nature and put him in Nurse Ratsh*ts electric shock treatment. He ran away multiple times. Then when the fascist coup took place he was captured and tortured but escaped and made it to Switzerland where he lives to this day. Just saying

7 3Rating: +4

Not Too Late

May 20, 2022 at 6:17pm

Agree with the second comment. It's not too late to claim your hopes and dreams. It seems like you just might need to let yourself catch a break, and accept you're doing the best you can. It's those small victories that you can achieve and build on that can make a world of difference in your life.

5 1Rating: +4


May 20, 2022 at 7:30pm

I highly suggest in general to *not* get that form of brain electrocution ("ECT") unless you want to lose memories, and possibly some of your motor functions and long-term well-being, re long term extremely deleterious effects that are well known in the psychiatric survivor's community (people who have lived, first-hand experience), and which are becoming increasingly documented outside of it.

6 2Rating: +4

Aqua jogging

May 20, 2022 at 8:04pm

Don't knock the basics. They are the fundamental building blocks of a good life. You're getting skilled at them. You Can make a list of 5 desires and take a good look at it. Beside each one write one or two words or a phrase about why you want that thing. Be honest. Being an astronaut is probably out, but experiencing the weightlessness of a sensory deprivation tank and having a new experience isn't. Maybe there's something on that list that's doable on a small scale. Remember - it doesn't have to be perfect, it doesn't even have to be any good. Actually it's even better if it's terrible. It just has to be something you try. Remember you are still here. You don't have to run. Swim, float, tread water. Being alive is enough. You are enough. Now say it out loud. I am enough. Write it on a sticky note and put it on your mirror right beside where your face is so you see it every time to look at yourself. We're in training. And it sucks. And it's hard. Every day. If there's a support group try it. Hell can sometimes be more tolerable with the company, maybe it helps, maybe it doesn't. But you try. And I'm going to try too. Thanks for being here. You helped me tread water today.

9 0Rating: +9

@I'm skeptical of the electric shock freakment

May 20, 2022 at 11:30pm

It's an option to be discussed with a medical professional, and it's a treating a person that's been resistant to medication and therapy. It is treating depression, not creativity. Furthermore, it's not uncommon for a clinically depressed person to not want to do anything, let alone write a book. It's 2022 not 1965, the treatment is very different from what you've seen dramatized in a movie. I reiterate, it's an option.

7 4Rating: +3

So young yet

May 21, 2022 at 4:02am

Age is relative. You’re a young person to me, and as a person who has lived with depression for my entire life (close to 70 years) I do understand those feelings of hopelessness that you describe. I occasionally still have episodes like that myself. But much of depression is situational in nature. Times when things are so difficult that it would be unusual not to be depressed. My life has been marred by multiple crises since childhood, and my brain adapted coping methods back then when I was so young that I was helpless to control my environment, that became unhealthy when I grew up. Re-training one’s brain is no easy task but it can be done. If you’ve been diagnosed with trauma-related depression such as what causes PTSD or C-PTSD, getting therapy for that could change your life considerably. It definitely helped me immensely. The other thing that helped me is going off of antidepressant medication, because it wasn’t curing me and the side effects were causing other problems. It is a tough battle to be fighting forever for many of us, but I can tell you from experience that you are stronger than you think and you can learn new coping skills that will vastly improve your life if you really want to change.

8 0Rating: +8


May 22, 2022 at 10:58pm

Have treatment resistant depression, PTSD, anxiety, and serious chronic health issues too, and tried SO many things to help and nothing has. Had 2 serious high risk operations, and other treatments for my physical health issues, and tired of struggling dealing with adversity too, and can't escape a toxic environment because of my health issues, and would give anything to be healthy and normal and work, and have a better life, and constantly wish I was gone to no longer suffer.....

You're not alone in your struggles, I'm sorry you're hurting too. Ketamine therapy, and TMS therapy are newer treatments for treatment resistant depression. TMS did not work for me unfortunately, and ketamine is extremely expensive.

People always say to get help, reach out, but you need money for therapy to afford it. If you're extremely lucky, you may get a psychiatrist, and it's even rarer to find ones that do therapy. Though I have seen my psychiatrist for many years, and my mental health has only worsened with serious horrible chronic issues.

It's hard trying to hang on, and survive, get proper help. I've had to give up on my dreams of so many things, and it's painful as hell suffering so many years with no real support, and deteriorating and living like this....
Unless you live it, people don't get it, and those of that are sick, poor, with disabilities, and/or chronic issues often are tossed aside, dismissed, gaslit, abused and more.

I hope things improve for you, and for all of us that suffer barely hanging on.

6 0Rating: +6

Psychiatrists are…

May 24, 2022 at 11:52pm

People too… like the one in the Johnny Depp/Amber Turd trial. Yeesh. He’s writing himself prescriptions!! So gross.

1 0Rating: +1

Join the Discussion

What's your name?