Flying solo

I enjoy people but find that I enjoy doing stuff alone much more. Hiking, seeing concerts, I want to devote 100% of my attention to these things. I feel bad for excluding people when they want to join. “Sorry I want to be alone and enjoy this thing purely for me” is just rude. I feel pressure to group socialize but I go farther by myself. I guess there has a time and place to group socialize like for after work drinks. When I’m with others, I get preoccupied with whether they’re having a good time or not, whether I’m being funny enough, open enough, etc …… so I’d rather just be with the trees or music and exist peacefully without any demands.

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Anonymous

Jun 23, 2022 at 5:16pm

Things are changing, my boomer sister was always afraid of being an "old maid" and becoming an unmarried middle-aged woman, so much, so she got herself into an unhappy marriage. Now she doesn't want to be a "divorcee", so she puts up with the old windbag. The younger gens aren't so worried of what people think, and have liberated themselves from such nonsense. Why spend your lives in chains? Life is hard enough without worrying what your neighbours think. This is it, you have one go at it, and do your best to live your life in your terms.

13 2Rating: +11

Yes!

Jun 24, 2022 at 12:25pm

When I first moved to Vancouver, I didn't know anyone and would go to movies, concerts etc by myself and have a great time. When I started bringing friends, dates and the like along with me, people would act bored or they would complain, I worried too much about them and didn't enjoy the experience. I had a boyfriend once who declared that my taste in everything sucked and he refused to go with me to events anymore, he would buy me tickets to shows, but just for me, not for us. It was weird. I finally gave up when I got free tickets to see a band I wanted to see for a long time. I invited a friend and she sat there the whole time with her arms folded, looking bored and angry. The show was really great but I felt self conscious and didn't enjoy myself. I thought back to all the memorable experiences I had, they were all things I did by myself. I'm not wasting any more time having my fun killed by people being jerks.

14 1Rating: +13

@Yes!

Jun 24, 2022 at 2:57pm

That sounds like a typical Vancouver experience back when I go to shows. The front row or the "fans" I would assume, they are in the front row, after all, would have their arms crossed, scowling and bobbing their heads. Many people just struggled to really enjoy themselves, and resented the that were, because they must be "weekend warriors" and not real fans of music. Vancouver is a weird place.

12 2Rating: +10

I totally understand OP

Jun 25, 2022 at 1:24pm

Being around people who get bored easily (& weirdly seem to wear it as a badge of honour) is stressful. It's like you're expected to entertain them.
The trick is to stop caring. If you're having fun, great! If they aren't, so what?! It's not your responsibility to keep them entertained and if they can't keep themselves entertained, someone is always going to be stuck with the job.

5 1Rating: +4

Ok with going alone.

Jul 30, 2022 at 6:20pm

I used to buy an extra ticket or two to concerts because I was sure I could convince friends to come. Lost a lot of money because most of the time I couldn't get anyone to come with me. My friends just aren't into music like I am. I just learned to be ok with going alone. It would be great to have someone to share the experience with but it doesn't really take anything away from it for me. I'm not there to talk. I kinda wish everyone was there alone now because the one thing that really bothers me at concerts is how many people are talking over the entire show.

Also, when you're buying one ticket for a show it's a lot easier to get a good seat when you miss out on presales. As an added bonus, occasionally you get to upset someone who was intentionally trying to get an empty seat next to them. Their dirty looks bring a smile to my face. Lol.

1 1Rating: 0

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