Dandelion

When all the tasks and errands are done I’m left to wonder what is left in my life. My energy and funds are limited. I can get by, but to what purpose? I pay taxes, work, consume, sleep, repeat. But where is the joy? Where is the sense of accomplishment? Do I have to keep doing this? I’d rather close up shop, have a few good months traveling and then submit my body and organs for science and donation. I don’t need to be here and I could help a lot of people through vacating. That could be my contribution. My job, home, resources, and organs carefully distributed to support others who need them. That would be a great joy. To pass on the good things I have for others. Life holds nothing more in store for me but an ending and I welcome it.

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Anonymous

Jul 11, 2022 at 9:39pm

Surprising how many people feel the exact same way you do. I could go tomorrow and it would be fine I feel like I've lived so many lifetimes and pretty much done everything you can experience in life so that would be fine to be free of this hell we all consider living. Only one person on this planet would miss me and that is the only reason I keep trying. But she is growing up now and won't need me much longer so maybe my time will be here soon. I hate being negative but that is how I feel and when you have no joy left inside you what else is there ?
Don't say volunteer or join a club or get a hobbie or even get help.
Redundant

11 2Rating: +9

Can You,

Jul 12, 2022 at 12:15am

Digital Nomad? Maybe that will reinvigorate your life?

9 6Rating: +3

@Anonymous

Jul 12, 2022 at 2:28am

I also understand how the Op and you both feel. Lots of us are feeling like that. But when I start wishing I could just be done with it all, I imagine what it would do to the people here who do love me, because intellectually I know that they do, even if I can’t feel their love most of the time. I know that me taking myself out of the game would mess them up terribly, and that’s the only reason why I’m still here. I can’t put them through that hell even though I’m living in one of my own right now. So I keep going just like that saying goes: “if you’re going through hell, keep going.”

8 0Rating: +8

Weird

Jul 12, 2022 at 8:46am

The idea of death terrifies me. I'm an atheist so I'm not imagining myself prancing on clouds for an eternity or coming back as a cow or a snake. I'll take the mundanity of life over oblivion. Almost everyone I know who has had the attitude of "I'm bored with life" tends to balk at the idea of ending things when they actually look into the void. There are a lot of things to live for, challenge yourself, volunteer, take classes, learn a new language, doing that alone will open a whole world of new experiences for you. If you have the time, expand your horizons. I think the biggest fault of the modern world is it has killed imagination. We all get stuck in little boxes and think that is the only way to live.

8 4Rating: +4

Free advice

Jul 12, 2022 at 10:21am

You may have no accomplishments, but you have something that Beethoven, Einstein, and Hawking ain't got and that is a heartbeat. They'd swap places with you in a second. You have literally forever to not be here. What is the point of living? Maybe it's in that little bit of travel you have coming up, e.g. a reminder that if something is only slightly fun then it's something you won't have when you're dead. No need to self-murder, it is 100% coming.

9 3Rating: +6

You all

Jul 12, 2022 at 2:01pm

Chose to be here which you will understand when you return to the ether from which you came.

0 0Rating: 0

@ Anonymous

Jul 12, 2022 at 3:18pm

If "she is growing up now " is a family member, she will still need and love you when you are 90.

4 0Rating: +4

Thoughts

Jul 12, 2022 at 7:24pm

This is one of the most intense confessions I’ve ever read here. What makes Life worth living, ultimately? The other commenters mean well when they suggest things like going digital nomad, learning a new language, take classes, etc. But it appears that the OP nailed it on the head: making Life worth living, is being of service to others. I think one can gratify oneself in selfish ways endlessly: traveling, masturbating, acquiring items & property, getting drunk or high, but all this feel-good stuff doesn’t amount to anything. Being of service to others, the community, the environment, the planet, worthy causes, being tied to OTHERS, gives our lives purpose, joy and meaning. I honestly don’t think filling up one’s calendar will make anyone satisfied if they’re just doing stuff for solo pleasure. Helping others prevail when they need it gives meaning to our limited energy. We have one life to live. And we shouldn’t squander this gift.

9 9Rating: 0

@Thoughtd

Jul 12, 2022 at 11:41pm

Man oh man. You didn't listen to the op at all but you seem confident in deciding for them what brings them joy and how they choose to live their last days. You also disrespect other people's ideas when those ideas involve community building. The op also literally said they plan to donate everything and their organs to people in need and you call them selfish. Some of you love the sounds of your own voice and telling people what to do with their own bodies. If that's not selfish I don't know what is.

6 0Rating: +6

I hear you op

Jul 12, 2022 at 11:59pm

Unfortunately the Pious few here that give empty words of encouragement won’t be there to aid you. Just tease you with semantic sentiments saying you’re needed and wanted. They lie. Lie. No actual help. Just hollow empty words. Some of us just need a hug and 10mins to be listened to. Unfortunately when you actually confront these caring creatures they’re far too busy. I needed my meds today which I couldn’t get. So I bashed my forehead against a closet 15-25 times and that seemed to solve the racing thoughts. Problem solved. And I won’t be “reaching out” for what you professionals call “help”.

8 2Rating: +6

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