Staying strong

As an extremely sensitive person it’s incredibly hard for me to pretend that I don’t hurt. But oh my god I hurt so f’ing much that it feels like fire in my veins. I’m alone all the time and have to be the strong one for my children and friends and my parents. They really don’t know how much it takes from me and how I collapse when they aren’t around to see it. I put on my brave face and my smile, and I offer all of the support and encouragement I can. But there’s no one to offer that same support for me. I’m so lonely and sad and all I want to do is hide away, but instead I force myself to get up, clean up, and try to get something accomplished every day. I know that there are thousands of people in this city feeling just like me but their own family and friends don’t know it either. So I’m posting this to remind everyone reading it to stop for a moment and ask yourself who it is in your life who will always offer you that shoulder to cry on and vent to? Who’s that person who always encourages you and builds you up? When was the last time you took the time to do the same thing for them? We all need to feel loved and appreciated, even the ones who never ask for it.

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Pebble

Jul 7, 2022 at 4:44pm

Well said.

2 0Rating: +2

Know exactly how you feel

Jul 7, 2022 at 6:18pm

I’m the pillar of strength for a number of people: my boss who knows nothing, my aging parents, my kid, my partner. My responsibilities make me want to take off alone for months, to answer to no one but myself. Yes, I have private breakdowns like you OP. No, I don’t care to rely on my friends. That’s not their job and I’m not going to burden them with my problems. I’ve got a professional therapist to help me out and see new perspectives. I do my best to feed my own soul. People including family are emotionally unreliable. Paying $200+/hour for my therapists time is reliable. Stealing time away for yourself is essential. Do it. Fill your bucket and don’t deplete yourself.

5 0Rating: +5

Anonymous

Jul 7, 2022 at 11:21pm

Absolutely no one but thanks for reminding me.
Such an uplifting confession.
I'm sure you will get many thumbs up.

1 0Rating: +1

Be good to yourself in front of others

Jul 8, 2022 at 9:48am

I really empathize and I think it’s very sweet that your priority is your loved ones. That said, you’re not really teaching your children the full human experience. My partner is going through mental health challenges and part of it is him feeling his parents did it all perfectly while he was growing up. He’s only finding out now that his dad was so stressed he changed jobs etc. Presenting a fake front isn’t serving anyone. You can be supportive for those you love while taking up space yourself. Being resentful that no one is checking up on you when you aren’t saying that there’s anything to check up on is a bit martyrdomy. I hope you consider counselling as well as a place to vent and have support in a way that is more neutral. Take care and be kind to yourself <3

5 0Rating: +5

I feel your pain

Jul 8, 2022 at 11:30am

It’s called VIRTUE. You have virtue (gifts that comfort and help others) and when someone needs your supportive words or touch, they take the virtue. It’s only because they honor you that they may do so to take your virtue.

Problem is, you need your virtue restored. It’s like a tank of gas and you feel well spent.
Don’t look to people for that refill. It’s nice, but they might not be able or ready to do so. If you expect this from them and don’t receive it then you may be offended and love them less.

You have this virtue in yourself. And can get Virtue back within yourself. Take time to set aside and shut away. Breathe in deeply and out deeply. You need some rest. Take it! Make time for yourself
And so things that make you smile! All the best to you!

2 0Rating: +2

Have you

Jul 8, 2022 at 12:30pm

Have you thought of counselling? When you find the right one, it can be healing. Also, joining a small activity club or gathering can help connect you to others with similar interests.

3 0Rating: +3

@ I feel your pain

Jul 9, 2022 at 10:47pm

Omg
Can you day Virtue one more time I don't think we get it.

0 0Rating: 0

Manufacture your own damn happiness. Ask for what you need.

Jul 11, 2022 at 8:27pm

What about instead of putting the blame on others by asking them to take a moment and think about someone in their life who is martyring themselves
…. YOU stop. And ASK for what you want. What do you need, what do you want? Why don’t you seek the comfort you need instead of stiff upper-lipping it and behaving like a martyr? It’s not a good look.

0 0Rating: 0

@Manufacture

Jul 11, 2022 at 11:40pm

You sound a little angry. You’re also assuming that I’ve not done exactly what you’re suggesting. But I have you see. I’m not the type to make a big deal out of my own stuff, especially when I can clearly see how much stuff the people I love already have going on. They have offered the occasional commiseration but I think it’s that they’re not used to seeing me in that light and it annoys them when they have to change the roles a bit. But if you’re angry about my post then I guess there’s some stuff of your own that I’ve triggered. I get it. We’ve all got our own burdens, right?

0 0Rating: 0

Anonymous

Jul 30, 2022 at 4:42pm

If that's the situation you have my sympathy but it does kinda come across as "I'm the greatest and everyone else sucks" Really?...everyone? You don't think it could be something on your end?

0 0Rating: 0

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