Cognitive Dissonance

I never realized how crazy the workplace I spent years in was until it was behind me. Sometimes I wonder how I managed to waste so much time in dysfunction and why I didn't want to surround myself with better. I must has been crazy too to put up with it for so long. If you're in a toxic situation, at home, work, school, wherever it may be, don't suffer through it. You become your environment. Set aside delusions of having to be tough and persevere and that the best things you have to struggle for. It's a lie we're told to manipulate our boundaries and become complacent. You don't. The right places and people align naturally without any resistance. They do not hurt you to feel a sense of power, they do not sabotage you to get ahead, they do not try to humble you to reduce your worth and get their way. Don't allow toxic situations or anybody to rewire your brain into codependence to accommodate their goals and notion of success. Hindsight can teach you that you were right, or you can listen to your intuition, it's never wrong.


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Forward thinking

Aug 26, 2022 at 11:12am

I wish in 2021 more people had your way of thought. We are seeing what happens socially and economically when people don't take that step back. I don't know what the difference between Icarus and a lemming is, but all I see around me is people hurdling off their cliffs of toxicity.

Agree 1000%

Aug 26, 2022 at 11:27am

I removed myself from a workplace like this awhile back and resonate with everything you are saying. Thank you for writing this.

Leaving and deprogramming from toxic, demanding, manipulative, competitive, and boundary-violating work environments can be extremely difficult and sometimes traumatic.

For anyone (especially female-identified) who is struggling to find adequate support with career fallout, I’ve personally found that cult recovery resources and learning about systemic issues impacting women are helpful for understanding wtf happened and how to move forward.


Aug 26, 2022 at 12:36pm

keep moving forward!

Toxic soup

Aug 26, 2022 at 5:34pm

Yeah, the restaurant industry is terrible, I assume you were in the restaurant industry?


Aug 26, 2022 at 5:49pm

Thank you to the first two comments and well said. It's been some time, I've done a tremendous amount of healing since but I feel for anybody presently stuck in an unhealthy environment and also for anyone who's physically moved on but may be emotionally manipulated back to the past to prevent breaking out of toxic cycles. It's great advice @Agree1000%, and I hope anyone experiencing similar can find encouragement in what you've said and use it to move on to greener pastures.

Ivan Newjahb

Aug 26, 2022 at 11:01pm

I left my toxic job last week and can definitely relate. I will never trap myself in a situation like that again.

18 1Rating: +17

Yew Beesee

Aug 27, 2022 at 5:38am

I thought I wanted to teach in university, but the atmosphere is super toxic, at least in the humanities. Happy I escaped, but sad to see those I cared about morph into clones of their abusive superiors.

17 1Rating: +16

@Toxic Soup

Aug 27, 2022 at 7:29am

The workplace is irrelevant. It's to give hope to anybody who finds themselves in a toxic environment.

6 1Rating: +5

@ Yew Beesee

Aug 27, 2022 at 4:31pm

Yes! Academia is basically a pyramid scheme at this point. Glad you got out.

12 1Rating: +11

@Yew Beesee

Aug 27, 2022 at 4:52pm

It's been said before, I've never seen so many fight for so little.

In any dispute, the intensity of feeling is inversely proportional to the value of the stakes at issue—that is why academic politics are so bitter. -- Wallace S. Sayre, Professor of Political Science

“Academic politics is much more vicious than real politics,” Neustadt once explained. “We think it’s because the stakes are so small.” -- Harvard scholar Richard Neustadt

"Academic politics is the most vicious and bitter form of politics, because the stakes are so low." -- Political scientist Herbert Kaufman

11 1Rating: +10

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