Lonely but okay

I’m a 28 yo female, have never been in a relationship, and don’t have that many friends. I feel so free and spend my days off doing whatever I want. Shopping for anything, eating at restaurants, attending shows etc. It’s really fun yet too bad because the guy I really like is unavailable. It’d be nice to be able to go with someone to all these things. I’ll probably end up with him in 20 years after we marry and divorce other people. Am I terrible for hoping this will happen? Lots of sad things happened in my life this year so my main priority for now is taking care of my mom and responsibilities. In the future I’m sure I’ll meet the one.

17 Comments

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Retort

Aug 13, 2022 at 5:20pm

Yeah, good luck with that.

Ur a baby

Aug 13, 2022 at 9:31pm

At 28 you're much too young to get involved in a serious relationship. Live your life, the best years are ahead of you. Avoid unavailable guys who play mind games. Downvotes = permanently unavailable guys tying women down in their non commitment issues, standing in the way of good guys they have a future with. Don't fall for the stories. The right guy is available, period.

@Ur a baby

Aug 14, 2022 at 2:46am

Very good advice! I fell for one of those guys who mind-gamed me for years with hot/cold behaviour and a complete inability to commit to anything or anyone. I wasted so much time and now I’m exhausted and much older. Don’t wait for anyone. Believe action or even better, LACK of action.

@Retort

Aug 14, 2022 at 9:33am

You mean good luck to you, because you are going to be left alone and miserable with your nastiness.

Those types of guys are the worst.

Aug 14, 2022 at 1:57pm

You'll probably look back one day, laugh, and realize he was definitely not the one especially if he's stringing you along. "Soul mates", if you believe in the concept, change as you evolve. It sounds like a good on paper far from good type situation. Tbf you're contemplating using future guys as a stop over while you wait for the guy you supposedly wanted deep down inside. If you approach your relationships that way, it makes me think you're not as ready as you think you are for the so-called "one". People should never be treated as disposable. Time to do some healing work, relationships require emotional maturity.

21 5Rating: +16

@UR A Baby

Aug 14, 2022 at 4:39pm

I'm a 34 yo woman who married at 28,and I gave you a thumbs down.
In the meantime, my mid 30's coworkers,sister,and acquaintances are mostly never married and desperate to start a family. And not surprisingly, none of the mid 30's guys want to do that because: it's too risky,they've done that and been divorced and can't take on another family, or have been devastated by bad girlfriends so that all they do is work and save for early retirement.

And all I have to hear is how there's no good men out there,and asking where all the good men are- when they had many chances to get one years ago....

@ Those types

Aug 14, 2022 at 7:59pm

I took what the OP was saying about coming together later in life as harmless and speculative, and not indicative of a desire to use others to fill the void.

OP even said her priority for now is to take care of her mom and her responsibilities. That sounds pretty damn emotionally mature to me.

@@Retort

Aug 14, 2022 at 8:21pm

I know right. Serious issues. Let them keep warm with their many grudges.

14 6Rating: +8

@@Ur a baby

Aug 15, 2022 at 12:02am

Getting married young isn't exactly an accomplishment these days, it's certainly not a science, anybody can settle. Just look at the divorce rates, heck op's already planning for it, unhealthy relationships full of married folks desperate to get out, or find something better while still married evidenced by cheating, polyamory... It seems odd to blame your single friends for the failures of men that picked poorly in their marriages. Not much a friend there sorry to tell ya.

9 2Rating: +7

@@Ur

Aug 15, 2022 at 1:15am

How self-involved. The more things change the more they stay the same. "Desperate to start a family" ok umm you and your gfs sound incredibly selfish thinking about having kids with the way the world is. Overpopulation is killing the planet in case you haven't grasped the urgency. You need to come down from your high horse and think of others instead of obsessing about trivial plights of marriage.

10 4Rating: +6

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