No more chasing

It’s been a hard lesson for me. I’ve always been that person who didn’t give up on people. Gave 2nd, 3rd, 4th chances too many times. Looked for the best, gave the benefit of the doubt. Practiced reaching out even though as an introvert that’s hard for me. But I’ve decided that I will reach out no more than 2x and if they make excuses then I’ll be backing right off. No more chasing relationships for friendship or romance or even with family. If someone wants me in their life they’re going to have to do some chasing of me for a change. Otherwise I’ll be keeping to myself because I’m finally learning my own worth.

7 Comments

Post a Comment

Bindle Boy

Aug 29, 2022 at 8:30pm

Hey, I went through this! And I kinda thought in the back of my mind... well they'll come around, right? If I don't initiate they will contact me...I mean SOMEONE will eventually come looking for me... well, no. It's been a decade or so.

11 0Rating: +11

@Bindle boy

Sep 1, 2022 at 3:40am

I’m sorry that this happened to you. I’m pretty sure that the same thing will happen for me. But I’m okay with that, because I’ve decided that I’d rather be alone than be chasing after people who don’t care whether or not they have me in their life. I just wound up feeling unappreciated and unloved anyway, so what’s the point? There’s only so much that you can do and if you have to chase a person then obviously it’s not a good fit anyway.

4 0Rating: +4

iknowyou

Sep 2, 2022 at 11:36am

Is it possible that they didn't return your call 2nd 3rd 4th time because they actually weren't interested in having you as a friend. Maybe they walked away first and your ego is having trouble with it? Forget about 2nd chances. Maybe you didn't treat them right the first time(s)

0 2Rating: -2

Me too

Sep 2, 2022 at 3:45pm

But I also wouldn't want anybody chasing me. Relationships should be reciprocal feeling and effort. I used to chase after guys, if I didn't I never would have gone on any dates. I don't bother anymore and since not I've seen just how lazy and entitled they are. It's been purifying detoxing from all the emotional drainage. Anybody who cares naturally attracts and shows up, it's as simple as that. No chasing required. Same expectation for any other relationship, healthy communication and equal participation.

11 0Rating: +11

@iknowyou

Sep 3, 2022 at 6:44am

Doubtful. But I’ll respond to your comment anyway because I’m not sure what point you’re trying to make. Obviously if someone isn’t responding it’s not a good fit, but to assume it’s because I did something bad to them is completely unfair. I did not. I treat anyone in my life fairly and respectfully. I have several very good long time friends who unfortunately don’t live close enough for us to get together very much. What irks me is the “ghosting” behaviour of so many supposedly mature adults. If you’ve got a problem with someone or they did something that upset you, the mature response is to discuss it with them. For all you know you could have misinterpreted the situation. But just ignoring them is nothing more than hurtful passive aggression. It also lets you off the hook for owning your own part in whatever might have gone down.

0 0Rating: 0

Double Standard

Sep 4, 2022 at 12:52am

She told me she didn’t want no scrub. And I told her I couldn’t be chasing waterfalls.

1 1Rating: 0

@Double

Sep 5, 2022 at 8:21am

Reminds me of the fantastic 'film' the Other Guys. I put film in quotes because it's more like a really good episode of SNL (with mostly hits and only a few misses) than a good narrative.

1 0Rating: +1

Join the Discussion

What's your name?