I’m not there yet

I want to be where you folks are, going out and seeing friends at events and enjoying! But it’s so much more complex than that. I have PTSD (and ADHD) and I was starting to work with this before the pandemic hit but was interrupted and had experiences throughout the pandemic that further aggravated my PTSD. I’m a mid 30s female. When I get together with folks now I’m confused by the interactions and uncomfortable, peoples boundaries seemed to have all but disappeared completely and they go for that hug without checking I want it, or they reach onto my plate and touch my food - I then can feel my whole body tense and my brain starts to skip like a discman on a jog. I may be reactive, I may excuse myself awkwardly, go to the bathroom just to get space and breath it out, I may pretend it’s totally ok but spend an hour over thinking it at home. It takes so much energy to engage that the thought of connecting with old friends exhausts me and I’m pretty sure I’m losing some of them. I get told not to be afraid - I AM NOT AFRAID - I have frigging PTSD and my body aches with tension when you get near me and my mind is always running on hyperdrive and feels like it’s wearing out. I don’t have compromised immunity, but this “pre existing condition” heavily impacted how I moved thru he pandemic and how my return to “normal”(?) will look.

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Anonymous

Sep 1, 2022 at 6:16pm

It's okay, you are not alone. I decide when I have energy to meet up with others. I also decide when I feel like going out. You know your body best. Take your time. Ptsd triggers have different levels of intensity. I found nature to be healing. Best wishes

16 0Rating: +16

Common

Sep 1, 2022 at 8:32pm

I think it’s more common than you know. Anyone who was struggling at all with things like anxiety or ptsd, etc., before the pandemic, very likely is having an even harder time now. Making matters so much worse is the extreme shortage of mental health help for anyone but the wealthy who can afford to hire their own expensive therapist. The rest of us just have to hobble about on our own trying to get whatever help we can from books and podcasts. It’s not an easy life and I feel your pain, believe me. It’s not much help but I’ll say it anyway; you’re not alone. There are thousands of us feeling very much the same way.

16 0Rating: +16

Anonymous

Sep 1, 2022 at 8:34pm

Thanks for having shared this. Take care and hopefully things will get better!

6 1Rating: +5

Consider hope

Sep 1, 2022 at 9:07pm

Please please please consider Accelerated Resolution Therapy. It’s the most promising therapy for PTSD and works in a few sessions. I have complex PTSD that developed over six years and after 3 sessions my symptoms went down easily half. Of course complex PTSD as the name suggestions, is not simple as there’s multiple issues for such an extended period of time. I know you weren’t asking for suggestions, but it took me from suicidal to happy. Please consider it, it could change your life. Best of luck.

3 2Rating: +1

Ever since

Sep 2, 2022 at 9:51pm

I worked at Whole Foods I’ve learned to stay clear of cults that overtake current working systems and slap acronyms and change job titles with the exact same approach their predecessors went for. Self righteous hypocrites microdosing matter from the cowturd. Ok mannn. I’ll stop there.

19 1Rating: +18

Big Rona

Sep 2, 2022 at 10:34pm

Really turned everything up to level 10, speaking of psychological conditions

6 1Rating: +5

Life's a cinch

Sep 4, 2022 at 1:45am

Compared to all that chaos I usta get in front of

0 0Rating: 0

@eversince

Sep 4, 2022 at 6:31pm

I worked at whole foods too. Strangely enough, you described it to a tee.

8 0Rating: +8

I get it

Sep 4, 2022 at 9:41pm

Well what's ptsd. Post traumatic syndrome disorder. The trauma, specifically, is when a person faces death, is anticipating being killed imminently. That's rough to survive. PTSD could also result from lesser traumas but exacerbated by something.

So, here, COVID. Did we think we were going to die? Uh, not personally, but we were told, credibly, on the (then scant) evidence that the infection rate was pretty high and that people were going on ventilators and dying. Well, dying is what happens when you go on a ventilator. So, even if the percentage is low, it can't really be low enough. And many of us were instant epidemiologists.

The good news is that covid was not mega-ebola, that the death rate in healthy people is lowish, especially if vaccinated, that there was a vaccine that worked. It was also a time of pause , where we pensively stalked the empty shops in masks, and eventually just doing everything at home. Thus proving that remote work IS possible, etc.

Bad news is, things are kind of crap. People are scared/angry/zealous and the leadership cadres are looking out of their depth. Bring on the AI.

What a time. Let's not even get into the culture wars thing. It'll hit you.

I think you took the brunt of this hit, you and others who are for want of a better word, sensitive people. In a way, I congratulate you for not being so blunted and crusty and shitty as I am, and having feelings.

You've got to figure out how to go forward, of course. Maybe you just needed to take a really long deep breath, at home, under the bed. We've all curled into the fetal position.

But you can do it. Apes are pretty hardy mammals, adaptive, right?

3 2Rating: +1

asaparugus

Sep 11, 2022 at 9:38am

"I get it" your comment was just so thoughtful and insightfully written. Its rare to read worthwhile comments like that online these days. Thank you for posting

0 0Rating: 0

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