As a single man approaching age 40, I've been living in Vancouver for about 11 years now. One thing that throws off my vibe when it comes to dating is the perception that I might be lonely and desperate. Women may think I'm lonely because I am often trying to find dates for concerts, beach days and so on... Often on short notice. These women may wonder "Doesn't this guy have friends? Why does he have so much free time?" Here's why: (1) My best friend moved to the USA 3 years ago (2) Two other best friends live in Nanaimo, one is a super busy hard working Dad, the other is also very busy (3) another best friend lives in Prague. I have 4 best friends, and consider myself extremely lucky, as most people just have 1 or 2. (4) In total, I count 13 close friends that I love dearly... and you know what... NONE of them live here. Hence the free time. As I approach 40 as well I notice that many of my friends with kids are essentially handcuffed to their toddlers and babies for the next several years, with little to no free time to ever cut loose and have a fun night out in Vancouver. I can think of three of them now who privately express to me their occasional feelings of discontent about being trapped in this phase of life. So am I lonely and desperate? I guess so, but it's just circumstances, bad luck and growing older. THIRTEEN good friends... I fantasize what life would be like if we all lived in the same city: a reciprocal community constantly creating group social events for each other. I'd be a much more shining, happy and fulfilled person, and that would reflect better in my psyche and dating vibes. My life would be so much more rich, full, and positive, with this crew of beloved friends around. But alas, I am essentially alone, and that's not a sexy vibe. It makes dating SO much harder. I know I'm not alone in feeling like this in a city full of immigrants. People that grew up here and have forged a lifelong community around them are incredibly lucky.