I confess that I’m so afraid of being burned again that my fear has paralyzed me. Someone is letting me know that they want me, and I want them too, but the hurt is so deep that even thinking of speaking to them causes me intense anxiety. When trust is so badly broken, it takes a lot of work on the part of the person who broke it to earn it back again.


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Jan 17, 2023 at 12:46pm

He's probably been badly burned himself. Many of us have. Don't allow your past to sabotage your future.

11 4Rating: +7

i've given up

Jan 17, 2023 at 1:44pm

My dad is in his seventies, and has given up on life. He sits in his chair 'watching' tv, waiting for the days to stop repeating. I haven't given up the same way he has, but I've given up on the imagined perfect relationship I envisioned ever happening. It didn't happen, and then real life got in the way. But I still wish it had happened. Badly.

7 2Rating: +5

Never give up the good efforts

Jan 17, 2023 at 5:45pm

I took my mom and dad for granted but I sure do miss and appreciate them now. Better late than never.

2 2Rating: 0

But do THEY know that?

Jan 18, 2023 at 12:02am

Being passive-aggressive isn't going to get anyone anywhere. You need to say something. Like, exactly what you just posted on here.
To Them.
Directly. To their face. With actual words.

10 4Rating: +6

@ I’ve given up

Jan 18, 2023 at 5:27am

Perhaps when you get to his age you might understand. It’s so nice to think that no matter what happens in your life, you’ll always be full of hope and energy. But unless you’ve lived it, you can’t know and you’re not in a position to judge how anyone else should live. We all have our own ways to cope, and perhaps for your father, he’s found that watching tv is his comfort. Sometimes pain can make you just want to escape.

4 2Rating: +2


Jan 18, 2023 at 5:30am

But the one who did the most burning is the person who wants me back. He’s been burned a little I know, but I know for a fact that he did a hell of a lot more burning to other people than was ever done to him.

6 3Rating: +3


Jan 19, 2023 at 9:11pm

Your own words show that you need to stay strong and not let loneliness cause you to let yourself get talked back into an unhappy situation.
I wasted 5 years in a relationship that i was miserable in. Others have wasted even more years, even decades in unhappy relationships.
It's hard in the beginning being single, but be strong and the loneliness will pass and you will start enjoying life again with your family, friends, & hobbies (& maybe pets).
It gets better
E=hug for you

7 2Rating: +5

@But do THEY know that?

Jan 19, 2023 at 10:31pm

OP doesn't sound passive aggressive to me. They sound traumatized.

Communication is not always the answer, especially when it comes to abusive cycles. OP, if your body and instincts are saying no, that's your answer. Please allow these signals to override any misguided advice you receive here.

Break that trauma bond and shut that asshat down for good.

6 4Rating: +2

@@ Anonymous

Jan 21, 2023 at 7:42pm

Oh I see. In that case don't. He's already proved himself unworthy of you and can cause you irreparable harm to you both emotionally and mentally should he stab you in the back again.

4 3Rating: +1

Let him go for good

Jan 25, 2023 at 5:12am

I have to agree with the last three comments. These types know how to traumatize women into wasting years, money, opportunities, and discarding them to satisfy their selfish wants. Your body knows. It has built in guidance to let you know who's not right for you. The only thing you'll ever regret is not listening to your intuition or not leaving these types behind sooner.

4 3Rating: +1

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