I want to leave
posted January 30th, 2023 at 9:11 PM
My dad passed away last year and I promised him I would stay with and take care of my mom. She goes to the casino sometimes and lies to me about it. She even went the day before my birthday which ruined it for me. I am ready to leave her. I’ve had enough and can start fresh anywhere. Does anyone have an addicted or lying parent? It’s tough. I’m giving her one more chance but I know it’ll happen again.
8 CommentsPost a Comment
Jan 31, 2023 at 9:57pm
Oh, come on, it's your mom, and she's in the last stretch of her life. I'm dying to leave Canada, but won't because I love my mom, warts and all. All we have are the people we love, and so much else in are lives are just ridiculous social constructs. Hang in there.
Feb 1, 2023 at 3:32am
Too bad you cannot forgive her behaviour.
Anyway she will soon be dead and then you can take her house.
Feb 1, 2023 at 4:46am
You’re in a difficult position for sure. But please understand that even though you promised your father before he died, you are not obligated to sacrifice your own life and happiness for your mother. You must choose to protect yourself. If your mother is struggling in her life, it’s up to her to get help to move forward. You can be supportive, but still have boundaries that permit you to enjoy your own life. In fact, “taking care” of someone can also include not enabling them to continue their destructive behaviour without consequences.
Same pathetic story, but not my mom
Feb 1, 2023 at 9:46pm
She was my mother-in-law and I say 'was' because she is now my x-mother-in-law ! Life is too short to put up with monsters.
Feb 2, 2023 at 6:43am
My mom was a severe, abusive alcoholic, and eventually I cut her out of my life—didn’t talk to her for about 20 years and then she died. Don’t ever feel bad about putting yourself in a better place based on their behavior as long as you are not harming or putting someone down to feel better.
Feb 5, 2023 at 12:06am
Did it ever occur to you op that your mother's gambling addiction might be one way she copes with the grief she feels? Addiction is frequently utilized to numb unbearable pain. Sit down with your Mom. Have an honest conversation with her about addiction and possibly getting help. Do it now before she gambles your house away. You think that's an exaggeration? It happened to my neighbour's. A couple with three kids who were addicted to slot machines and horse races. They had both each experienced major trauma during the Bosnian War. They wound up putting their house up for sale to cover their gambling debts. Then he dropped dead from the stress, from a heart attack. And she lives in a small apartment with her children. Gambling addiction is very common.
Why does she have to lie?
Feb 6, 2023 at 10:49am
My Dad passed and said the same thing. My Mom moved in with me. I drove her to the casino. It was her money.
Feb 7, 2023 at 6:25am
My dad had a gambling addiction and had over 75k in debt. I forced him to file for bankruptcy and took away his credit cards. I'm now giving him a weekly allowance and taking over all of his finances. It's tough love, but I had to do it.
Join the Discussion