posted January 20th, 2023 at 8:38 PM
My autistic brother can recall a movie we saw on June 26 1985, yet he forgot my birthday today. I texted friends on their birthdays, took them out to dinners or shows. And I get radio silence today. I give up. SO much energy output and no love in return.
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Jan 23, 2023 at 3:59pm
That's why it's called Autism !
In the wide range of the spectrum of this disorder some people excell and are excellent at certain things and not so interested in other things what so ever.
Guess they don't find you very interesting !
Feel better ?
One day you'll understand
Jan 23, 2023 at 4:31pm
You'll forget someone's birthday that you would never ever forget. It's not a big deal, unless you insist it is
Jan 23, 2023 at 5:58pm
You'll survive. Maybe remind him with a birthday cupcake and hopefully he'll remember next year. And Happy Birthday!
Jan 23, 2023 at 10:18pm
There are loving neurotypicals whose spouses feel hurt when anniversaries get forgotten. I remember times when I "forgot" a birthday not because I actually forgot, but because I got so paralyzed by performance anxiety that I ended up doing nothing because I couldn't decide what the "correct" action was, and the shame of being late led to further inaction. I was diagnosed early in life and I was aware that my every thought and action was micro-examined for "correctness". I spent most of my young life over-performing my reactions and inner thoughts to get validation for being "a correct-thinking human." The performance anxiety burned me out before I did enough reading to get the words to explain myself the way I'm doing now. Lead with love. If your brother isn't inwardly cowering in fear of you judging his performance as a "normal" human being, you two will find a way to work things out for you to feel validated.
Jan 25, 2023 at 2:23pm
You need to lower your expectations and find some friends who are more giving. Hopefully you're not doing things for people expecting something equal in return all the time. That's setting yourself up for disappointment.
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