Say the words. But where Are the words? I did not have them. They come in and out of mind like shadows; Koi fish barely nearing the surface in a rain dappled pond at dawn. Why didn’t I say the words? Didn’t I know? Like attempting to grasp such a fish barehanded, Even knee deep in water I failed to take hold and fully fathom; Viscerally own those sounds that are born from deep knowing. I did not have the words. I could not express what was so deeply entombed within. Drowned below in darkness, stifled screams. No, we must have peace here yes? Stay nice and quiet. Compliant. Do. Not. Resist. The threat of livelihoods held at our throats. Yet now, only as I come to surface To breathe. To know That you were drowning me all along; Standing above my shoulders to keep yourselves afloat. How could you? Yet you were drowning too. Held down by yet another. Why were we in water to begin with? All our tears.