I used to write letters

I’ve stopped trying to explain my feelings because it’s pointless for the person I used to write to most often. It’s when you stop arguing with a partner because you realize that it’s futile that you know it’s over. I’ve been battling the desire to send them another letter explaining how I feel, and I’ve won the battle so far. They’re never going to understand or care, so I’ll just save myself the trouble. Sometimes there is no closure, and as difficult as that may be to accept, it’s just the way it is.


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Sounds wise.

Mar 2, 2023 at 2:42pm

I think you've unlocked a new level to your healing. Onward and upward.

0 0Rating: 0

Heartfelt feedback

Mar 2, 2023 at 10:17pm

I want you to know that what I'm about to say is meant with the utmost of care for you, and this is meant with great sincerity because you should have happiness.

Save yourself the trouble? Are you serious!?

When you say you're arguing, I wonder whether you're actually hearing them or you're just waiting for them to finish so you can continue to talk. This confession alone tells me that you are quick to tell them how they feel (How do you know that they don't care? Did you ask them point blank that very question?), so I am questioning your communication abilities. You claim that you try to tell your feelings yet you use this opportunity to passively give an ultimatum in as vague and as public a platform as possible. You're even reducing the give-and-take to war terms; considering you have feelings, it's weird how it's all "battles" and winning. That whole dynamic—and especially this approach—disrespects the relationship and does a disservice to the both of you.

You need to stop this nonsense. That's right. This. Is. Nonsense.

Since you're about to write them off anyway, you have absolutely nothing to lose in saying exactly how you feel, which is what you should do immediately. Leave no information out, no hints, no beating around the bush and no leaving any details out. But not here and certainly not like this. What you're doing is weak, if not insulting to the both of you.

3 2Rating: +1


Mar 4, 2023 at 9:05pm

Writing letters with a feather dipped in ink ?
If you are at the point of written letters of how you feel instead of being able to verbally communicate with this person it's already over.
But guess what by leaving you have already won the battle.

1 1Rating: 0

Re: Heartfelt

Mar 6, 2023 at 4:10pm

LOL this comment reads like a 16-year-old redditor trying to give life advice to someone twice their age.

OP, you know what to do and you know what you know. Your communication skills are not the problem.

0 2Rating: -2


Mar 6, 2023 at 5:19pm

You’re confused. None of what you’re saying applies to my situation. Does it occur to you that unless BOTH parties in a relationship are able to hear the other party with respect, there’s no true communication happening? In my situation I was always willing to try to discuss things, but the other person would just talk right over me, turn absolutely everything I said into some flaw of mine or bring up something I supposedly did in the past, never take accountability for their own part in anything, etc, etc, etc. So sometimes the only way to have even a small chance to express yourself is to write it out so that they can’t interrupt you, gaslight you, or try to change the subject entirely to avoid any real conversation. I’ve finally reached the point where I’m no longer even willing to try to explain anything, since it falls on deaf ears anyway. I’ve put as much time into trying to be heard by them that I’m willing to put in. I’ve expended a huge amount of effort trying to accommodate their multitudes of requirements and to jump over the bar they always set just a little bit higher. I’m worn out.

1 2Rating: -1


Mar 8, 2023 at 7:48pm

Nope, not confused if your initial post is any indication. I worked off of that. You should work on how you communicate, but that's not all.
You're correct that both parties need to listen, and had you spelled out the details that you did just now, I'd have a different answer. That is symbolic of how you operate.
Also, if the communication is such that you have to resort to letters, it's long past over. Let it go and walk away.
Really...what on earth are you doing hanging on to something that you just described as disrespectful and dysfunctional as that?
Show some self respect. Stop waiting for something that is as awful as it is immoveable. Trust your instinct, recognize your self-worth and then you won't be worn out. And in the future, set boundaries of what is acceptable, and be clear in your thoughts, feelings and needs. If you don't get a reasonable and favorable response, cut them out and move on. You don't have time for putting up with people who don't meet you halfway.
Closure is getting it off your chest. Tell them to their face, don't let them interrupt you and tell them off. You'll feel better getting what you need to say off of you and onto them. Then end it. Block them, ignore their communication, gather some friends and celebrate. Then take time to be with just you. Reflect on what you can do to catch these red flags and how to respond t them in a way that is respectful of you. Don't do it alone. Reach ut to others for mentoring and advice, read up on respected journals, do what you have to do to learn from this to empower you into the kind of relationships you're worthy of.

1 0Rating: +1


Mar 10, 2023 at 7:52pm

Yes, you’re definitely confused. You’re assuming that writing on Confessions requires that we spell out every detail of whatever’s on our minds. You fail to understand that I’m not writing this to please you. I wrote it to get it off my chest and it helped me so it worked. How you feel about it isn’t my concern. Oh and stop telling complete strangers what to do and how to live. You don’t have a clue about me or my life and I didn’t ask for your advice.

1 1Rating: 0


Mar 14, 2023 at 1:36am

Oh boo hoo, you're gonna get criticism when you put your drama out for everyone to see, so suck it up, buttercup. Expect the world to respond when you make your mess a public spectacle. BTW, if these opinions didn't matter, you wouldn't feel compelled to explain or defend yourself.
Oh and follow your own advice: stop telling complete strangers what to do and how to live...your words. Next time you wanna moan without feedback, pick a private venue.

1 0Rating: +1

Heartfelt, stop it.

Mar 14, 2023 at 5:06pm

Comment 1: “I want you to know that what I'm about to say is meant with the utmost of care for you.”

Comment 2: “had you spelled out the details that you did just now, I'd have a different answer. That is symbolic of how you operate.”

Comment 3: “Expect the world to respond when you make your mess a public spectacle.”

I’m not even the OP, just a concerned citizen. Do you realize how abusive you sound?

If this is your frustrated, projective payback toward someone in your life who isn’t speaking to you, I can see why they have shut you out completely. If I heard this tone and language from a partner, I’d be terrified.

Please stop harassing the OP and focus on healing your own wounds. The sooner you do so, the sooner you can seek out a healthy relationship that will sustain you into the future.

0 1Rating: -1

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