In my head, outside my body

Holy crap, I had these little crushes on all these people and it turns out they were waiting for me to die and burn in hell cuz I'm awkward and shit talked a mean person?!? I'm suspecting that is the story of my life and I've been interpreting passive aggressive behavior as flirting?!?@ how do I get over this self hate?! And how do I get away from these toxic people when I finally emerge back into the world?!? Im cringing so hard it hurts

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