Love having boundaries

I’ve been at a new office for a few weeks only. I’m not here to 1) talk about my weight 2) discuss my age 3) give colleagues reassurance that they don’t need Botox 4) discuss where I shop 5) hear about your mood swings I’m here to get paid to do what my boss tells me to do, full stop. I’m here to make money only. Don’t get the point of the workplace confused.

16 Comments

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I don't like the feeling of wearing 'blinders'

Mar 13, 2023 at 12:17pm

Somehow somewhere I just know in my heart that 'rugged individualism' is the low vibez 'fight or flight' mentality. Until recently our human race lived in extended families and villages where people helped each other. So in any social situation I now find myself in, including the workplace, and including this Straight Forum, I'm going to try my best to be of positive help to all. Maybe then, just maybe we as the Human Race can avert environment melt-down and WW3.

13 2Rating: +11

Sane boundaries

Mar 13, 2023 at 5:09pm

are important, but the loveless, alienating, sometimes even petulant social climate here in Lonelycouver is actually so cold and anti-intimate that it's causing not only mental-emotional suffering, but measurable bodily dis-ease amplification in hundreds of thousands of people who have the misfortune of living here.

I feel like the attitude expressed in your post is helping to contribute to that, intentionally chosen or not (I mention the intentional part in case you're one of the numerous non-amnesic non-finite awarenesses masquerading for life as 'regular people'; *waves if so* - I'm still surprised at how many of you there are. It kind of boggles the mind.)

12 1Rating: +11

OK Fine

Mar 13, 2023 at 5:31pm

The personal stuff I agree. But shopping,etc...really? It's called being sociable,maybe you should learn about it.

Bet your one of the types that complains on here,and all over, about how it's impossible to make friends in Vancouver....

8 5Rating: +3

@OP

Mar 13, 2023 at 5:41pm

You remind me of a woman in a fairly large office situation where I worked for a couple years, years ago. Always rebuffing any friendly chat, etc. and flat out told everyone that she was not interested in any non work discussions

I'm an instigator, so I set up a beach BBQ, most showed up and we had a great time.
Next Monday she found out about it from overhearing the office chit chat, and was all upset at me and everyone because she wasn't invited.... go figure that one out.

14 1Rating: +13

You do you then

Mar 13, 2023 at 8:15pm

Be the emotional recluse in the corner and miss out all you want, but did you ever think for a single moment; what if all your co-workers were cute furry talking little kittens? Your only focus in most your waking hours on this earth wouldn't just be living your job, would it? Of course not. You would want to pet them just like a proper human being should, and you know it. I'm not saying you should go in and start petting your coworkers but you can learn not to be so much of an automaton.

7 4Rating: +3

Rugged individualism

Mar 13, 2023 at 8:48pm

is the monkey-mind on this Planet of the Apes.

4 1Rating: +3

for all ya haters

Mar 13, 2023 at 11:33pm

botox really works though.

5 0Rating: +5

I'm all for it.

Mar 14, 2023 at 2:00am

I used to incorporate socializing at my jobs. In hindsight, doing so brings nothing but trouble.
Thanks to every "bored" project manager who turned work into a clandestine pickup bar to explore their sexuality, every insecure manager who tried to relive unresolved high school traumas by inflicting toxicity into the "team dynamic", and every immature colleague who was bent on turning the workplace into a backstabbing reality show to compensate for their self-hatred and as a poorly-executed remedy for their monotonous lifestyle, I no longer want to engage any more than is necessary with anyone I work with.
My job description does not include forced conversation unnecessarily disclosing my private life. I'm not there to provide company or entertainment to compensate for their inability to have a social life. I'm not there to act as their therapist or grief counselor, and could care less about whatever their dysfunction is nor do I want to become part of it.
I'm there for a paycheque to do a set of tasks, and when the established time period is over, I'm done. So I totally get where the OP is at.

14 2Rating: +12

Opinion

Mar 14, 2023 at 2:19am

I get what you’re saying and I also believe that we’re at work to get the job done and get paid. But since we spend the majority of our time at work, it’s also reasonable to spend some of that time in friendly conversation with the other people who work there. I’m not suggesting that we shouldn’t be focusing on work, and some things are better left unsaid, but there’s a happy medium and that’s where I choose to live.

13 2Rating: +11

Team player

Mar 14, 2023 at 12:23pm

You aren't going to get very far without general friendliness towards human beings. Privacy and boundaries are good things. Thinking yourself better than others...not so much.

1 0Rating: +1

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