Pick a lane
posted March 8th, 2023 at 8:10 PM
You can't do both. You can't hold back love and then refuse to let go. That is exactly what you're doing. You won't let go because you have genuine feelings. But withholding those feelings is not love, and I can't love someone who holds feelings back or withholds love. I'll never love a person who does that, especially when they hang no to me while holding those feelings from me. If you want to withhold your love, then there is no reason for holding on to me. You're hanging on to something that isn't happening because you are withholding love. I won't love you and no matter how much you hold on, I will eventually be with another who can and will love me the way I wished you would. That will happen no matter how hard you hang on. Holding on when you won't love is a waste of energy. I It's like refusing to water a plant while refusing to let someone who'd want that plant to water that plant. You're needlessly killing the plant that you wouldn't water anyways. Everyone and everything suffers needlessly. What is the point? How is that love? You hang on because you love, But what is the point of hanging on, then, when you won't allow that love at all? If you want my love, it's time to stop assuming that showing your feelings will backfire. Either show them to me or let go once and for all. Because as it stands, you are hanging on to nothing and whatever you think you will preserve will be long gone thanks to withholding your feelings, turning me off by refusing to let go as you do. So pick a lane.
11 CommentsPost a Comment
Mar 10, 2023 at 5:28pm
They made their decision. Move on already.
I feel for you.
Mar 10, 2023 at 6:01pm
This is such a horrible spot to be in. Been there.
The harsh truth is, he’s already chosen a lane. Easier said than done, and it may take time, but ultimately the power to end suffering with people who can’t make choices is in your hands.
Good luck. Believe me, there’s better out there once you’re ready to let this person go.
When you choose yourself instead of waiting to be chosen, all kinds of doors start to open.
Mar 10, 2023 at 8:26pm
Better now !
Mar 10, 2023 at 9:18pm
I think I know what you’re saying but I’m not sure you do. Someone who is “withholding” love is someone who probably doesn’t truly love you. What they’re most likely doing is trying to have their cake and eat it too. Maybe they’re playing more than one person and they can’t let go of you just yet because they haven’t secured the other person either. They can’t stand being alone. It’s about control, not love. I strongly suspect that the person who’s trying to reel me in again is also trying the same thing with someone else. A person who is genuine doesn’t play those kinds of games, whether they have some feelings or not. If they do, then they’re just players, and not worth your time.
Mar 10, 2023 at 10:56pm
This seems to be exactly (or close enough to) what's happening.
I really appreciate good samaritan infinities-pretending-to-be-regular-humans :)
Mar 11, 2023 at 6:07am
They pick Elaine.
Mar 11, 2023 at 7:53am
How do you know they have feelings if they aren't showing them? Sounds more like they did show them but you continually raise the bar. No wonder they don't want to rise to the task only to get your rejection again. What a catch you are!
Mar 11, 2023 at 8:14am
This person isn't withholding love. They don't love you.
Time to let this person go.
Mar 12, 2023 at 6:27am
To whom do you speak?
Mar 14, 2023 at 9:22pm
This whole thing has nothing to do with you; you don't know them and you're projecting your own drama trauma, so your words are sad and pointless You're referring to someone in your own life and they aren't involved in this post. You should go find them (and I doubt they want to see you).
I DO know them, they and it's clear that they have no other choice given they're withholding their feelings so tightly. WE both know that won't changer. I just laid out how poitynless it is to hang on and I think they get that now because I feel nothing of them and both of us are feeling good vibes flowing in our separate lives now that we are free.
It doesn't mean they aren't feeling things. They think I ruined their plans, but no plans are happening and I already explained why nothing is happening for reasons already made clear. They're now processing this inevitability. They'll find someone if they haven't already. I wish them karma in their new path.
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