Separate isn’t always better
posted March 30th, 2023 at 5:23 AM
I acknowledge that I’m from an older generation, but being so gives me the benefit of experience. So I’ve witnessed the full gamut of relationship styles and standards. One thing that really strikes me as being relevant to how successful a relationship is, is how the couple treats their finances. The people who don’t mix their finances into joint accounts and insist that everything is split down the middle, seem to lack the cohesiveness that’s fundamentally necessary for a true partnership. When I was young, even couples who lived together without being married usually fully combined their finances. In my case we had both a joint account and individual accounts of our own into which we both deposited equal amounts of money once we’d made sure that our necessary expenses were covered, but the joint account was for both of us and it wasn’t viewed as theirs or mine, but ours. So we decided together how we would spend our money, and that was typical of the other couples we knew. I think if you’re not willing to fully commit to that type of partnership, then you’re not ready for the long haul with that person. Obviously it requires that each person has an equal say, but that applies to every other aspect of the relationship too, so I still think it’s relevant to the ultimate success of the relationship.
3 CommentsPost a Comment
Mar 30, 2023 at 1:50pm
Each couple has the right to work out the financial system that best suits them. My mother taught me to always have a separate account so that I can remain empowered and independent and it's a system that has worked beautifully throughout my loving 35 year marriage.
Mar 30, 2023 at 6:32pm
Interesting analysis in theory but what if only one half of this "loving couple" is the only one working and placing money in this so called joint account, while the other person always has their hand out expecting to be taken care of.
I guess that would make them a Carney Leech.
You are so
Apr 2, 2023 at 11:57am
in to your friends business that you have knowledge of their personal financial arrangements? What a tedious life people who suffer busybodies like you must have.
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