Trying To Not Be Mean

posted March 8th, 2023 at 9:27 PM

I'm in a ten-year relationship that will likely implode in the next few weeks. We've tried to make things work and to save this thing - a lot of talking and expensive counselling. But I'm pretty sure it's over. I'm feeling sad and hurt, and I'm trying very hard to not be mean, even though I feel have a pretty solid case for it. There's been some meanness coming at me from the other side. I'm not talking violence here, just some hurtful words and neglect. I know that "taking the high road" is a very noble thing to do...but I'm worried about the temptations of the "low road." Great - another summer about to be ruined...

4 Comments

That sucks.

Mar 10, 2023 at 5:38pm

Such a shitty and stressful life event to be going through. Sounds like you’ve tried all avenues to repair. I can see why it’s time to call it quits.

The high road is tough when the path is being eroded by someone who is intent on getting you to react. No shame in calmly stating plain facts if that’s preferable to staying silent.

Good luck navigating these choppy waters. This too shall pass.

Anonymous

Mar 10, 2023 at 8:17pm

Ugh, wow, breaking up is hard to do. The longer the relationship and the older you are, the more it's going to hurt. Get some of that expensive counselling post breakup, you're going to need it.

So tough

Mar 14, 2023 at 2:53am

It’s never easy breaking up a long relationship. Especially if you’re living together and when kids are involved. If you’ve tried your best and it still doesn’t work, then it’s probably best to end it. I found writing my feelings out in a notebook very therapeutic. It helped me process those difficult feelings without taking them out on the other person. Maybe that might help you too?