I have a really hard time trusting people now. I used to be so open and trusting that people were intrinsically good with good intentions, but that belief was smashed a few too many times. I recently tried hard to trust a person who had badly let me down in the past because of some things they said that made me think maybe they’d changed and there was hope. But I wasn’t ready to completely trust again because I was waiting for them to prove that they were being honest before I let my guard down completely. I’m so glad that I listened to my gut instinct this time before I got too comfortable with it, because they showed that they couldn’t be trusted just as I was afraid they would. I’m sad about this potential relationship being lost, but I’m equally sad about the complete loss of my ability to trust anyone. I don’t think I’ll ever get it back and that feels very lonely.


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May 31, 2023 at 11:37am

I understand completely. I'd been jaded from past relationships but none worse than my ex husband. Very abusive, unfaithful etc.. We were married in 2020 and I'm only finding I'm recently letting my guard down a bit. I'm not dating or interested but I find when I'm out in public if a man looks at me or (very rarely) flirts, I no longer feel like macing them. I was utterly repulsed with men anywhere I went. I didn't want to feel this way and knew it wasn't fair to good men, but it seemed totally ingrained in me after what I went through. I think it can take a very long time but
I believe we can trust again some day. It's taken me 3 years to feel even remotely close to trying to trust but I feel that "ingrained jadedness" beginning to fade which gives me hope for the future. I am however very well versed in red flags now which I think is something good. Wishing you the best of luck. It will happen when you're ready and until then you just do everything you can to care for yourself. If that means not trusting anyone at the moment, so be it. It's a defense mechanism. Your body is telling you that what you need right now is protection. It's okay.

10 3Rating: +7


May 31, 2023 at 2:33pm

Yess it's true finding that road back to trusting has many potholes and bolders in the way but your instincts are your best bet to knowing who to trust. Wolves often come in sheep's clothing.

3 2Rating: +1


May 31, 2023 at 4:32pm

Sounds like you are far too obvious re your needing to have people close to you, and predatory untrustworthy types take full advantage.

1 3Rating: -2

Was it all their issue?

May 31, 2023 at 6:07pm

Maybe there was learning to be had on both sides

3 3Rating: 0

Our life on this planet is but a flash

May 31, 2023 at 10:28pm

In a wink of an eye we will all have moved on to the Universal dimensions were petty grievances will feel petty, irrevelant and a distant memory of our immature growth. So relax, enjoy let your love light shine.

3 4Rating: -1

Feelings are the one thing most people with agendas of their

May 31, 2023 at 11:24pm

Own are the easiest way to take two people with strong and annoying connections in many ways so they attack the feelings. This generation has been waxed gross God is right they are all lost a total fucking loss!

1 1Rating: 0

Terrance Twinkletoes

May 31, 2023 at 11:51pm

Deserves a (Johnathan) swift kick
Don't go Dragon my country down
If you're feeling left out
Draw a bridge
Cross the deep divide

4 2Rating: +2

Questions for commenters

Jun 2, 2023 at 9:31pm

Anonymous the second, what are you talking about? It’s normal to have expectations of a person who is telling you they have feelings for you and how sorry they are about what they did in the past. How is agreeing to see someone “being too obvious”? In fact I was really, really cautious and didn’t give anything away until he started making me feel comfortable and safe enough to do that again. I didn’t completely trust so I wasn’t just going to fall into any old pattern. I’m happy being on my own for the most part, but like most people I’d like to have a special person in my life as well. I’m not a hermit but I’m in no way desperate either.

Was it all their issue? Yes, I believe it was. I wasn’t being sneaky or deceptive and was completely up front about my circumstances. It’s not like we didn’t know each other and I have nothing to hide. The giveaway about untrustworthy people is that they can’t answer a straight question and they’re deliberately vague about what they’re doing. They love to create a mystery to try to keep you guessing. It’s such manipulative behaviour and I don’t have time for that garbage. I sensed it and when I insisted on a straight answer I got nothing, so I’m done with it. I’m saving my energy for someone worthy enough to match it, but it’s going to be another long healing process all over again and I’m saddened by that.

1 0Rating: +1

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