As a friend, I don't know what my responsibility is to you. I want to see you grow, change, move past the pain and trauma of the past. But you don't want to do that. You want to stay stuck and hurt. Possibly for the rest of your life. I can't change you and yet I can't walk away. I hate seeing you like this and don't know what's next for our friendship.


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Controlling others versus responsibility to self

May 19, 2023 at 6:34pm

Your friend has the right to take as much time as they need to heal.

You don't have the perspective to say what they "want" or "don't want." Working through trauma is more complex than that.

However, you absolutely have the choice to leave this person if the friendship is harming you or no longer serving you. Not all connections are meant to last forever.

6 4Rating: +2


May 19, 2023 at 7:58pm

I got nothing !
No advice nothing to say on your post.
Interesting hummm
True friends are hard to find.

3 1Rating: +2

You can't help anyone who doesn't first

May 19, 2023 at 9:56pm

want to help themselves. Best we can do is let them know they are loved and we are here to help whenever they are ready. Till then define your own boundaries that work for you and keep energy vampires at a distance.

4 1Rating: +3


May 19, 2023 at 10:12pm

When people make remarks like that it seems ignorant to me. No one “wants” to stay stuck and hurt. If they are suffering it’s not because they’re enjoying it, and anyone who believes that has obviously not experienced what that person is. Too many people assume that because they’ve gone through problems and aren’t “stuck and hurt” that everyone else should be able to do the same thing. But if you think that way then you’re missing something very important. That is the fact that everyone is different and so is their own personal experience of their life. If they’re stuck it’s because they either can’t or don’t know how to move past it. Unfortunately there’s very little mental health help available for the average person with an average income. The best they can hope for is to have supportive friends who don’t walk away from them when they’re struggling.

7 4Rating: +3

Thanks buddy

May 20, 2023 at 12:15am

I know I'm a pain in the ass. But we still like each other, right? Just like that time when that chick was giving you the gears. I sucked it up for you. But you were way out there. Grow up for fuck sakes. Just grow the fuck up.

2 3Rating: -1

You are a good friend

May 20, 2023 at 5:50am

What caused your friend’s pain and trauma?

3 1Rating: +2


May 20, 2023 at 7:34am

How manipulative. No one WANTS those things. I you just dont care, you dont have to be a dick to try n justify bailing. Hows that feel?

3 1Rating: +2


May 21, 2023 at 3:39am

You have good intentions, just don't become an enabler. Don't pass out trying to fix your friend's oxygen mask before adjusting your own.

4 1Rating: +3


May 21, 2023 at 9:13am

You can't rush a person's healing process, and when it comes to PTSD there's a good chance it'll always be there to some level severity.

4 1Rating: +3


May 21, 2023 at 6:49pm

O no I don't. You just have low eq

1 2Rating: -1

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