Change or Die

I have an image of myself that is hard to challenge. Am I being inauthentic if I try something different and would I be betraying myself? Perhaps it’s best to accept myself as I am in this moment and still try new activities that help me move towards good things. I love being a loner and also would deeply value a relationship with a life partner. It’s painful recognizing my disorganized attachment style and I feel broken. Change is possible yet feels insurmountable, and expensive. With my face in my hands I think I have a better chance of being granted MAID. I’ll give myself a year.


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Jun 7, 2023 at 3:19am

As we travel through our lives it’s entirely natural that we try new things and that we change along the way. You’re still the same basic person that you’ve always been even if you’re doing different things. Being authentic doesn’t mean never changing. It means staying true to your core values and expressing yourself in a way that’s true to yourself. Don’t put on a fake face in other words. As someone who shares your dilemma of wanting to be both alone and with someone at the same time, I do understand. I think lots of people are like this too. In fact many people are finding new ways to have committed relationships where they are together but also have their own places so they have the space they need. Don’t get locked into thinking there’s only one way to live for you, or that you can’t change your mind and still be authentic.

5 0Rating: +5

Transend and declare war against your own subconscious

Jun 7, 2023 at 8:48pm

1. First view all your weaknesses, bad habits, and debilitating emotions that are all working together to negatively effect the healthy life you want in every way possible as their own separate entity from you.

2. Categorize them and pit them against each other.

For example: If your bad habits are smoking and not getting enough exercise then don't buy another pack of cigs, switch to cigars but you can only buy one single one at the time you want one and you have to walk, run, or bike to go get it.

3 0Rating: +3

Then again…

Jun 8, 2023 at 6:04am

To continue what I said before, I would add a caution: if you’re being pressured by someone else who is trying to convince you to do something that feels wrong, that’s not the same thing. Sometimes we love someone but what they want in a relationship is different than what we want. If you go along with that because you’re afraid of losing them, you are compromising your own values, and that’s definitely not being authentic. I tried for years to convince myself that I could handle being in a relationship with someone who didn’t want the same things that I did. It didn’t work because I wasn’t honouring my own feelings and needs. Basically what it comes down to is how you feel on the inside. If something isn’t right for you, your body will tell you that. You just need to listen.

1 0Rating: +1

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