That's all wonderful...but have you told him this?

…except he wanted to say we were just friends but at the same time he thought sexual activity and having expectations that you’d only have if you were in a relationship was also okay. I don’t know about you, but I don’t talk to my friends like that and I don’t expect my friends to cater to me. I also don’t go to their place and try to take over and tell them how it should look. Mixed messages result in confusion and anger.

It’s unlikely that this is from a person I stopped communicating with, but just in case it is, you didn’t hurt me and I’m not in pain. You just annoyed me with your total inability to have a normal relationship with anyone. You have a compulsion to be the star of the show regardless of what is going on, and you’re not looking for a relationship, just an audience. It’s exhausting.

Sorry you are dealing with snarky reactions in the comments.

I for one enjoyed reading your words. They felt healing and sincerely crafted.

I can also understand why you don’t want to apologize in person. Some doors are best left closed without subjecting the other person to our own catharsis.

Keep up the good internal work :)

It’s the only way forward.

And it actually inspired me to get back on my truth-seeking quest.

keep moving forward!

I'm terrified of life. Back and forth struggle in nature makes me sick. I long for quietude...and a pleasant eternal vacuum

Back and forth nature meaning arguments? I can totally understand that.
But if you mean the back & forth of conversations, then can’t help you.
Most women need the mental/emotional connection that results from communication.