You don’t get to have your cake and eat it too this time. No pretending we’re in a relationship but not having any of those pesky relationship responsibilities. No pretending you live here and enjoying all the stuff I pay for while you pay for nothing. No bossing me around, telling me your opinion on every subject under the sun whether you have any experience with it or not, and no controlling what I do in my own place. No pretending to care when it’s obvious you’re just running out of options. It was a very brief experiment and it was a predictably miserable failure.