Sounds a lot like what I am experiencing now. Life has a way of revealing what needs conscious growing and the growth that’s already happened yet goes undetected until experiences happen. Either way it means that learning will continue to take place in one way or another. Although I lost someone in the year that went by, I wholeheartedly accept my growth in other ways I needed to from older moments of stagnancy. Now I’m hopeful to be moving toward ease in decisiveness when it comes to matters of my heart. I am not guaranteed anything but at least I can choose to be courageous as I grow - even when the journey gets terrifying and I want to do nothing more than freeze time for a bit… Or a year.

in adversity. Lean into the wind and keep walking forward in good times and in hard times.

Fear losing others because of low self esteem and rejection.
But what they don't understand is relationships are fluid not static and come and go.
I have enjoyed the time I've spent with people and when it's time to move on I wish them well and block all contact because I don't listen to whiny sniveling rants.
It's an inner knowing I have and it's wonderful to use people develop this trait thru evolution some slower than others but moving forward always happens.

Friends are never a sure thing!