I don’t know how to feel

I’m so conflicted. I have a family member who is a drug addict and who has hit rock bottom. They’ve used up every single friend they had. They can’t tell the truth because they lie so much that they don’t even know what truth is anymore. We can’t believe anything they say because it’s complete lies. This has been going on for many decades, and I’ve been saying this to my family for all this time, to no avail. In fact I’ve been accused of being hard hearted and mean because I’ve been advocating for tough love with them to stop enabling their addiction, but no one listened. Now things have reached a crisis and I’ve just learned that they have been shit-talking me to everyone who would listen, in spite of all the times I helped them out and how they tell me they love me when we talk. I knew about some of the lies they told about me in the past, but somehow hearing about how they’re talking about me now has made me feel really bad. I feel like just shutting them out of my life completely, for good. I know addicts aren’t really in control of their faculties, but still, I’m just really done and I don’t want anything more to do with them at all. I’m They’ve spent their whole life blaming everyone else for their problems while never doing a thing to help themselves. All they do is leech off of anyone who will let them. It’s disgusting and pathetic. But still, I’m conflicted because I do love them. Maybe I can forgive all the lies, but I think I still have to cut them out of my life.

2 Comments

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Tough Love

Sep 10, 2023 at 9:18pm

Is rarely the answer. Love, compassion and empathy in most cases are much more successful.

6 13Rating: -7

Re tough love

Sep 11, 2023 at 5:00pm

You can have compassion for a person without allowing them and enabling them to continue their very destructive ways. You can also love yourself enough to cut a toxic person out of your life when they’ve proven that they have no intention of changing.

16 6Rating: +10

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