Red flag # 10,000…

When I think back to some of the obviously rotten things he did while we were together sometimes it’s hard for me to understand why I kept making excuses for staying with him. One of the really lousy things was this habit he had of never saying anything positive about any picture of me or my family or friends if I showed him one. No matter how old the photo was and even baby pictures, he would find something critical to say about it. I’ve been trying to recall any time he said anything nice about any picture that he didn’t take himself and so far nothing. Someone accused me of being obsessed but they don’t understand how completely devastating to a person being so emotionally traumatized in multiple ways for so long can be. How much it changes your brain and how long it can take to recover once you’ve broken free from that person. So I’m not obsessed with him because that part is done for good, but I’m obsessed with learning why it happened, how it happened, and how to make sure it never happens again.


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Way to go

Sep 28, 2023 at 2:07am

You did the right thing by not staying with that person. Of course, it does take lots of time to process when you start to recognize yourself a lot more. Sounds like there’s a lot of healing that needs to be done. Did you ever confront this person about the way he treated you? Best to call them out and then end it.

2 1Rating: +1

The ties the bind and gag

Oct 3, 2023 at 2:56pm

I heard a saying once that made a lot of sense:
Trauma bond.
You aren’t obsessed. You don’t still love him. You have a trauma bond. You are bound to the trauma. Not the person. You will get past it but speaking from experience you need to remember it’s not the person you are bonded to. It’s your trauma of the situation. And no one else will fully understand that pain it caused and the twisty turning upside down it made you feel.

You got this. Keep moving through it

3 1Rating: +2

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