I am dating two women who both love me.

I believe it is wrong, but I find myself in relationships with two different, wonderful women. So far, I have been able to juggle availability, but it cannot go on this way. I can't make up my mind. They are both so special. We haven't committed to exclusivity, but it is not unreasonable to assume they believe we are exclusive. I don't need readers to beat me up here. Some helpful suggestions would be helpful.

9 Comments

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Thanks for the real confession.

Oct 13, 2023 at 8:20am

I would be honest with each of them, and allow space for their choice as to whether they want to continue pursuing something non-exclusive or free themselves to find something more in line with what they really want if committed monogamy is more their cup of tea.

If the latter, I recommend letting them go to live their lives without fighting to keep them, as this could cause confusion and kick up their instinct to compete for you. This tends to be an unhealthy, time-wasting, and stressful dynamic.

Good luck!

8 3Rating: +5

Yup, sure.

Oct 13, 2023 at 12:32pm

Someone always eventually loses out in situations like this, perhaps all of you. Is there a reason why you can't be honest with both? Let the cards fall where they may but honesty is the best policy. Being selfish is no reason to string them along especially if they believe you are exclusive.

9 2Rating: +7

It's easy to undo

Oct 13, 2023 at 3:34pm

Just let the two of them in on it. They'll make 'your decision' for you. Happy trails!

11 2Rating: +9

I Ate A Smurf's Ass Once

Oct 13, 2023 at 8:20pm

Tell them the truth about how you feel about them and what you're about and get some feedback. I think folks need to be honest about expectations and how they do relationships.

4 1Rating: +3

Go on a trip

Oct 13, 2023 at 10:30pm

Go on a trip by yourself and see who you are missing most. Or take each on a separate trip and see which one you enjoy being with most. Travelling is a catalyst to see where issues arise. Do you even want exclusivity? Who is more compatible? The fact that you can't choose clearly might mean that you don't truly want either. If you choose one, will you pine for the other later? Seriously it might be neither. You might be dating both to avoid commitment.

6 6Rating: 0

Do the honourable thing

Oct 14, 2023 at 11:42am

and be completely honest with both of these women. "Not unreasonable to assume they believe we are exclusive." More accurately stated, you've allowed both of these women to believe they're each in an exclusive relationship because it directly benefits you. It is my greatest hope they clue in to the fact that you're a narcissist. Barring that, be honest with them that you're dating another woman and explain for how long you've been dating the other woman. See how each of them feel about that.

22 1Rating: +21

You deserve neither of them

Oct 14, 2023 at 1:09pm

And if you loved either of them, you wouldn’t begin the relationship by being so fully dishonest.

14 3Rating: +11

Lies by omission…

Oct 14, 2023 at 2:49pm

Are still lies. By your behaviour you’ve illustrated that you lack integrity. You realize that both of these women believe that you’re only seeing them. Your behaviour has obviously led them to assume that because you’ve implied it. Just because you don’t spell it out doesn’t give you a pass.

23 4Rating: +19

Spoiler Alert

Oct 14, 2023 at 3:20pm

Suggestion number one: Watch the movie "Sliding Doors".
Suggestion number two: There are many games to play in life. Juggling human souls is not one of them. Good luck with your next incarnation.

11 3Rating: +8

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