Impossible standards

Men and women are both largely single, childless, and try to attain impossible relationships (must be 6' tall, wealthy, or super attractive, etc.) I am starting to believe marrying at 15 was a better approach. Nothing was overly thought-out to these extreme and impossible standards that we have today. You could get unlucky, but if they are not a sheer idiot or loser, it is better than being single for the rest of your life, isn't it?

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Male or female OP?

Oct 16, 2023 at 12:57pm

I’m guessing you’re a guy, though it’s usually more women who let themselves get programmed into believing that they have to be in a relationship to be happy/fulfilled.
I feel the opposite, that being in a less than amazingly-compatible (fuck looks & money, personal compatibility is what matters) relationship is the worst thing. Both seen & experienced that and now have experienced being single for over 10 years.
No worries, no stress, no emotional roller coaster, just more peaceful -and fun because I get to go to the events & do the hobbies I wasn’t able to while in relationships.
Being single wins by a landslide.

21 8Rating: +13

Hot take

Oct 16, 2023 at 1:33pm

I think the impossible standards come from online dating convenience culture. The app mentality means we are treating Tinder the same as a customizable restaurant delivery order.

My hot take is that our city needs a personality transplant (friendlier, more open to chatting with strangers) and more opportunities to meet people in the wild.

Injecting a sense of mystery into the dating scene, IMO, is a recipe for sparking with people who may differ from our usual “type” and challenge perceptions of what our “type” even is.

22 3Rating: +19

Big mistake

Oct 16, 2023 at 6:08pm

Thinking it is better to spend most of your adult life with someone who is just second or even third best? You will never be happy. Marrying at 15 is no way to start your life when you're still just a kid. Way back in the day people married at 15 because you would die in your 30's or 40's with a high female mortality rate. 50 was considered old age.

6 3Rating: +3

Anonymous

Oct 16, 2023 at 8:26pm

"You could get unlucky, but if they are not a sheer idiot or loser, it is better than being single for the rest of your life, isn't it?"

No, I don't want to spend my time and energy with a smoker or a person with terrible taste in music, let alone a loser or an idiot. Life's too short, just be single, and enjoy it. There are so many interesting things to do in this world.

15 3Rating: +12

What do we really desire?

Oct 17, 2023 at 6:47am

15 is too young to marry - unethically so. At that age you don't even know what you truly prefer and don't prefer in a lover -- I know I certainly didn't.

In a lot of cases, having high (compatible and non-delusional) standards is a good thing (not necessarily inane 'lists' like "must be at least 6' tall and very wealthy", etc). I think just "taking what you can get" and jumping at the first opportunity for a romantic relationship... often leaves a lot to be desired, if the mutual resonance (mental, physical, essence, lifestyle, etc) isn't there past a certain threshold -- that can become a recipe for "meh"-ness, drama and conflict, and early separation over incompatible differences (or just not even loving each other that much).

7 2Rating: +5

jeff_S

Oct 17, 2023 at 7:47am

I'd rather be single than be with someone who doesn't make me happy

23 7Rating: +16

Luck

Oct 19, 2023 at 10:37am

I got lucky. I met a very attractive, tall, blond blue eyes stunning human, they are smart, and financially sound, just wonderful and mine!

4 8Rating: -4

Strange this is

Oct 19, 2023 at 6:43pm

All the old photos, people are happy and running into the arms of their loved ones after the war. You wouldn't see that happening nowadays. People are just looking for paychecks, money, fame, narcissism, etc.

9 1Rating: +8

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