I always think it’s just me struggling. Everyone is so good at putting on a warm and cheerful demeanour. And when it’s commonly known that things are hard it’s a relief when things can be kept light. Play along that life is beautiful. Somehow I missed the memo, never heard the rules. For everyone in the game it’s a balm, but for those on the outside it feels off kilter, deranged, but you’re not sure if it’s you or everyone else so it must be you. When I do hear someone break out of character and say, things haven’t been good, somehow the air comes back into my lungs and I can breathe again. Was I holding my breath? I suppose I was, afraid to let out anything in fear of contaminating others and causing smiles to wither.