First I fell in love

Next I was abruptly ghosted. Then he shows up out of the blue a year later. Acts as if nothing happened. Wants us to be friends. I thought about it and honestly couldn't imagine moving past the pain and being friends. So I quietly disappeared. Here's my issue: I'm glad to walk away from this person forever. But I still hang on to a tremendous amount of hurt, pain, betrayal, and disappointment. I want to forgive and let go and I don't know how.


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Nov 27, 2023 at 12:26pm

You are being used. Forget this loser. The pain you have suffered is going to only get worse the more you have to do with him in the future.

No one ghosts anyone else for a year if they have any real feelings for them.

8 1Rating: +7

Sounds familiar

Nov 27, 2023 at 8:27pm

Some people are users of other people. They go through life using one person after another, without regard for how their behaviour affects anyone else. The devastation they leave behind means nothing to them, because they can’t comprehend it. They don’t connect with others like normal people do. I’ve dealt with someone just like this for a long time, and the aftermath of that experience is akin to having a bomb detonate your life. If you have been successful in disappearing from them, then count yourself lucky, because doing that is not easy. They will reappear every time they need another person to use, because whoever they have been using since you gave up on them has probably given up on them too. They usually keep a few people hanging on to call upon just in case they need them. Don’t get hung up on forgiving them. Contrary to popular belief, it’s not necessary to forgive someone who has abused you (and who will most certainly do it again if you let them) to move on. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other until you’ve moved far enough away from them that they no longer have that same pull on you. Take it from a survivor - if you don’t, they will destroy you.

13 5Rating: +8

Yes you do…

Dec 3, 2023 at 6:04am

Forgiving is the only way to successfully move on. Otherwise holding onto anger kills you. Somehow you feel more comfortable holding onto this anger, rather than letting it go…your choice…don’t blame others.

5 0Rating: +5

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