The past and present

It was easier to love you and our friendship when we were both in the same boat. We hated where we lived but making the best ot it, struggling to make ends meet. Now you've taken a great leap of faith and I'm completely stagnant. I don't know why I'm stagnant, just that I am. Time is flying by regardless of who's enjoying life and who is miserable. Listening to how great your life is going is dull and makes me depressed. Yes I realize that sounds selfish.

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That totally makes sense.

Nov 8, 2023 at 10:17am

As someone who's experienced a lot of stagnancy, I relate to this post.

Despite the common refrain to "stay connected, reach out" when you are feeling stuck and depressed, I've found it helpful to do the opposite and retreat. Tune the world out and actually listen to what the depression is trying to say.

There's a YouTube clip of Jim Carrey interpreting depression as the need for "deep rest." I find his take very helpful. Check it out if you feel so inclined.

Final thought: if you're bored and numb listening to your friend's direction in life, it may be that you are naturally aligned with a different direction. Like the spokes on a wheel, we've all gotta find our own angles. When you're ready and have completed the restorative process of depression/stagnancy, you will find your own unique way forward.

10 2Rating: +8

Well at least we know…

Nov 9, 2023 at 2:39am

What you’re describing isn’t uncommon. Misery loves company as the saying goes. Hopefully you’ll be able to move past this phase in order to be genuinely happy for this person. Right now you’re showing that you’re not really a friend to them because real friends want the best for the other person.

8 2Rating: +6

Present

Nov 9, 2023 at 10:43am

Ugh I hate listening to people having happy moments. Like go away and let me live my life so I can stop being jealous and start being present.

3 6Rating: -3

Looks can be deceiving

Nov 10, 2023 at 10:59am

I know many many many people who have made huge life changes, career changes and family changes in the last 1-2 years whose every social media post is a bane of utopia's bliss. What people want others to see and what they are actually living is often two different things.

4 0Rating: +4

Trying to figure out…

Nov 13, 2023 at 8:13am

If you’re stagnant or the leap of faith…just not sure.

0 2Rating: -2

On the other hand.

Nov 18, 2023 at 4:26pm

I am in the position of your friend. Big huge exciting changes. Things I’ve been working for for the last 30 years. Crying, fighting, working, sleep deprived nights or fear of rejection and pushing forward. Working to get this new life. Now it’s here and it’s exciting and scary. My friend, you’re allowed to be jealous but don’t dull my sparkle and ask me to dilute my joy because you haven’t managed to muster the courage to harness your immense talents, too. don’t claim you deserve more than your lot and refuse to go out and get it.

4 1Rating: +3

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