Eldest of five and feeling troubled

The holidays are over and I'm troubled by the fact that I'm not close and essentially do not trust my four younger siblings. I wonder if I'm the problem, if I'm the common denominator. And yet I feel like I've tried so hard with these people. I just want to lay this burden down. These four siblings aren't very close to one another either. We can laugh and be lighthearted over the holidays. I'm supposed to feel close to them, I'm supposed to trust them, we're supposed to be tight knit, and it just never came together.


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Jan 8, 2024 at 9:44pm

Rarely do members of one family grow up under the same roof

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Jan 10, 2024 at 6:37am

I’ve found that it’s more typical to not be close to your siblings than the opposite. Just because you have the same parent or parents doesn’t guarantee that you’ll get along, especially as adults. I think it’s got a lot to do with how your parents treated all of you, and whether they encouraged your relationship with each other, or created division among you. In some families the kids were pitted against each other (not necessarily on purpose but because of how the parents treated each one) and that creates competition and discord between them. Other times the grown children just don’t have anything in common so they drift apart as they get older. Maybe just try to enjoy a visit when you must, without placing your own expectations on how you thought your relationship with them would be.

2 0Rating: +2

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