Ex for a reason

Someone is still interested in me and is doing very well in life. He worked hard for his success and he should be proud of himself. He doesn't look as good to me, though. Being away removed the spell he cast, so all his flaws are more obvious... or maybe the real "him" now is. He was a gold digger and in my eyes he still is. And he revealed to be a coward. And has a lazy eye that has gotten worse because he's too vain to correct it. Okay, that's a cheap shot, but ignoring self care isn't attractive; if you don't look after yourself you're unlikely to properly care for anyone else. I don't know what he wants from me, and I don't want to because he treated me terribly. He does every time and always has with great ease. I don't know all of who the real "him" is, but what I do know is that he was and is selfish and deceptive. I also know I'll never see him again because the adoration in my eyes is gone so I can't make him feel good anymore. I gave him plenty of chances and he is incapable of apologizing or making amends, something I won't let go of. I don't understand how someone can yearn for someone they treat so badly. Isn't his wife and career enough? Why does he want me? Doesn't he understand that he drove me away by sending constant pain and misfortune my way? He is perpetually awful to me. Even when he thinks of me, it's to wish harm. How he thinks anyone can want to be around someone who does that needs to see a therapist. I know it doesn't sound like it right now, but I only ever wished him happiness and success and still do. And now, honestly, I mostly wish for him to forget me and be far away because he has proven incapable of giving me anything but pain and misery. Really, I hope he meets anyone else. There's plenty of guys looking for a regular on the down-low and he can easily buy their affection and discretion. I hope he finds one... anyone... so he can finally go away.

5 Comments

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buglady@telus.net

Jan 9, 2024 at 11:02am

It take a while for the shine to wear off and when it does..........we do see the real thing. Those people are great at capitalizing on infatuation til it fails........and they are left hold a 'shell' of themselves and have lost out on a great person.

4 2Rating: +2

Well… it sounds like to me

Jan 9, 2024 at 11:36am

That you are not letting go…or you wouldn’t be here. He obviously wants to be with you, and you’re completely kidding yourself if you think you don’t feel the same way.
Talk to him, maybe you can work it out. Good Luck.

7 10Rating: -3

@well

Jan 10, 2024 at 10:18pm

Why would you encourage this person to try to work something out with someone who clearly caused him a lot of pain? Just because a person still has feelings for someone doesn’t mean they should be with them. The hardest thing to do is let go when you still love them , even if you know the relationship is harmful to you. The op should be encouraged to just keep walking until the memory of what they thought they had with this guy has faded enough that they’re no longer tempted to go back.

4 5Rating: -1

@well

Jan 11, 2024 at 1:12am

I'm doing no reaching out of any kind. Nope. Not happening
I almostI fell for an illusion who played being a mirror to get attention. I don't know this man at all, and based on their actionsI don't want to.
I'm only here in cofessing my feelings to spell out that he needs to move on. To confirm it's over. To ghost him when he seeks contact would keep him in the zone of hope. So would contact.
This is a compromise out of compassion A declaration of my certainty as a healing catharsis that signals the end. Nothing more.

6 4Rating: +2

@@well

Jan 23, 2024 at 6:51am

There is no compassion…you can’t stop thinking about him or you wouldn’t be here. Very, very simple.
Put your ego away and talk with him.

1 1Rating: 0

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