I have a

sister in law who grew up in an abusive Mormon commune on Vancouver Island and in Utah. Her dad was a polygamist who had 6 wives and ditched her mom when she was sick and dying. She claims that after her dad left, she left the church completely. However, pretty much everything about her matches the description of a Mormon woman exactly. She is very obsessive about having as many kids as possible whether or not she can afford to, and makes strange rules about absolutely everything such as what we are allowed to give as gifts and what we are allowed to eat and drink when we get together. She is angry that my brother cannot afford to have her be a stay at home mom, even though she is the one who openly pressured him to have a bunch of kids and get a big house. Lately this anger has resulted in her and a few of her relatives being super rude to me and cutting me off from my nieces and nephews, as I guess she thinks maybe I am the reason she cant afford to have even more kids and stay home with them since my parents gave me the same help with things as my brother. (She felt it should have all gone to them as they are a family and I’m single). She gets my brother to contact me and pretend it’s coming from him whenever she is mad about something, and it’s so obvious she does this because he never used to be so uptight. Or maybe he has converted to Mormonism too without telling his own family of origin. Either way, hoped it wouldn’t come to this but I don’t think I can continue any relationship with them as it’s all just so crazy!

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Hurt people > Hurt people

Jan 12, 2024 at 11:22am

Where did it start and where will it end? So it's up to one and all to firstly look into our own traumas without judging and down voting the traumas of others .... OCM - Sto:lo Coast Salish word transfering the best positive energies for all

4 0Rating: +4

Anonymous

Jan 12, 2024 at 6:32pm

Honestly you don't sound as angry as you are trying to. Perhaps you can keep in touch with these people.

On the other hand, you can always have nothing to do with them.

It's your choice.

3 1Rating: +2

Mom

Jan 13, 2024 at 7:04am

That's messed! Abuse really messes people up and they repeat patterns that should not be repeated. It sounds like your parents have treated you and your bro fairly which I respect. Maybe she hasn't converted back to mormonism but is simply repeating the way of life that she grew up in at a pivotal time in her development? It might not be consciously done at all, who knows! -- If I were you, I'd setup a TFSA for your nieces and nephews if they don't have one, or contribute money to their TFSA, so it skips your confused sis n law and the kids can benefit.

2 0Rating: +2

No kidding

Jan 13, 2024 at 10:11pm

Pain does go pretty deep when it comes from family members. People like that get some sort of neurotic pleasure out of ruffling feathers by taking it out on their own flesh and blood. Had to cut some cold relatives out of my life after they brought me nothing but negative energy.

5 0Rating: +5

Ditto

Jan 14, 2024 at 7:38am

Mormons are strange people. Have you ever heard of a play called the book of Mormon by Matt Stone and Trey Parker? It’s made by the guys who created South Park and the way they take the piss out of Mormons is absolutely hilarious.

6 0Rating: +6

No excuses, but actually an excuse

Jan 14, 2024 at 10:03am

If she spent her entire life as a child being indoctrinated like you say, that’s all she knows of life. She wasn’t provided with the same type of education and opportunities to learn as people who weren’t raised that way were. She didn’t have the opportunity to learn a job skill, and now that she’s got a few kids, it’s probably very scary for her to be forced into a workforce she’s got no experience in. I’m not commenting on what you think she’s doing with your brother, because if he’s not sticking up for you, that’s on him. But you don’t mention why her relatives are so angry at you; did you say something about how you feel in front of their children or something? I get how you feel about Mormonism because it repulses me too, but if you’re saying disparaging things about it in front of them that would explain why they’re upset. They’re probably worried that you might influence their children in a way that challenges their Mormon beliefs (it would be hard to watch I get that), so you might be right to think that you need to distance yourself from them unless you can tolerate the way they live.

1 1Rating: 0

Screw them

Jan 14, 2024 at 10:56pm

Stay away from the holier than thou types. They’re losers.

9 2Rating: +7

My best friend's a mormon woman

Jan 15, 2024 at 9:23am

My bestie is a mormon woman from Halfmoon Bay/Sunshine Coast. She's conservative politically too. I'm the opposite, liberal from an irreligious family. Still, I couldn't ask for a better, more loyal, more loving, more family oriented, and more intellectual friend who is closer to me than my blood sister. Our friendship is as deep and strong as ever two decades on since we first met. The same goes for her entire family. Please don't judge a book by its cover. Not all mormons are what you describe (then again, they're not all what I describe either). I see where your coming from, but they're not all like that.

6 3Rating: +3

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