More solitary cat than pack animal dog

In conversations I tell people some stuff that I’m really looking forward to. Then they ask who I’m doing it with. I say I’m flying solo. Then they invite themselves and expect that I’m supposed to be overjoyed with their self-invite. Honestly, I’d rather fly solo, because the event will be converted to them just dumping their problems onto me. I should just shut up and not tell people about my upcoming events. I don’t want to be your psychiatrist, priest, counsellor, life coach, surrogate mom who reassures you. I want to reflect, think, plan, feel, dream, alone.


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Yes, being a strategic survivor has its place

Jan 2, 2024 at 9:56am

But the flip side of what the OP is saying does not take into account that us humans (or wannabe humans) are a species of social creatures. Some creatures are solitary ie. cougars, certain birds and bugs etc. They only cum together once a year to breed and then they go solitary until the next brief breeding cycle. But, until recently, us humans lived in families and extended village families. I don't like this recent divide & conquer solitary isolation. George Orwell predicted it in 'Brave New World.' It ain't brave. Its painful and ouch ouch ouch ............. to be continued

5 8Rating: -3


Jan 3, 2024 at 7:56am

I think it's great you do stuff by yourself. I wish I were braver & went out & tried things alone more! Usually my idea of fun alone time is books & tea. Inviting oneself along feels like crossing a boundary to me. It's making the assumption that of course you'd have more fun with company which isn't true. Next time someone invites themselves along, rather than acquiescing, I'd say something like "that's kind of you to offer but I'm looking forward to my alone time. But we should make plans soon." And leave it there.

6 1Rating: +5

A Gorilla

Jan 3, 2024 at 9:21am

Ah yes, Orwell's Brave New World...

3 1Rating: +2

Good luck with that

Jan 7, 2024 at 7:28pm

It works for a while but if you’re too successful in pushing people away who want to spend time with y, they’ll stop trying. When solitude is no longer a choice you might find yourself feeling differently.

3 1Rating: +2

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