Now And Then

So a friend of mine and I are making plans to hangout for lunch or dinner.. We haven’t seen each other in a long time. He’s a great friend, and I love him like a brother. However, I’m not sure what to say. I find it sometimes we tend to get carried away, talking about the past and the old days of high school. Unfortunately, this guy has connections with some people that were not in my top three back in school. I’d rather not hear about those people anymore. I’m tired of talking about the past. It’s getting old. I would love to talk about new things like raising our kids, our careers, politics and the universe. No point in reminiscing over pointless crap that happened in the schoolyard 20, 30 or 45 years ago. None of it matters anymore.

4 Comments

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Don’t worry

Jan 16, 2024 at 10:06am

Don’t stress about it too much. If it’s a good memory, nothing wrong with reminiscing about funny times. But bad memories? That I can totally understand. Nobody likes to talk about bad memories since they bring nothing but negative energy. Usually bad memories never go away but they’re manageable. Anytime of thought comes into your head, just say “thanks, but I got this. See ya.” When you meet your friend all you have to do is just focus on the positive and be here now. Remember, a thought is just a thought.

1 0Rating: +1

Guide him where you want to go.

Jan 16, 2024 at 3:46pm

Perhaps start the interaction with "hey, maybe this sounds weird, but I'm not really in the mood to reminisce about the past today. How about we talk about ____."

Having some conversation starters prepared for the topics you listed in your post could be helpful to keep things on course.

Good luck!

4 0Rating: +4

Anonymous

Jan 16, 2024 at 6:33pm

Wtf why don't you just tell him point blank that you have zero interest in the three people he wants to wax on and on endlessly about?

I did exactly that and my friend immediately never mentioned these people again.

5 1Rating: +4

People who are sentimental about school years

Jan 17, 2024 at 4:09pm

speaks volumes about their experiences during that time. Me? I was bulled in kindergarten and it continued into university, despite having relocated several times and gone to several different schools. If you escaped the hell of bullying, if you had good friends in school, I could understand the sentiment and nostalgia. But it's important to recognize not everyone had a rosy experience. And not everyone wants to revisit that time. And that's okay.

8 1Rating: +7

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