I just found out that someone I thought was a really good friend (we’ve known each other for a really long time) unfriended me for no apparent reason. I’ve been going through a very hard time after a death in my family that hit me really hard. I’ve been super depressed and crying and barely managing to go to work and keep living. I expected that I would at least hear from them in a real way, like a real friend you know? But I didn’t hear from them at all. It really hurts! This is someone that I have always tried to be there for and help out, but I realize now that they don’t care about me at all. I want to say something to them, but then I realize that there’s no point. If they’re so clueless and if they care so little they’ll only feel sorry for themselves and won’t get it at all. And you know what? I confess that I’m so tired of being told to be the bigger person. I’m so done with being expected to understand and tolerate that type of total ugliness in people. I’m sick of giving without getting anything back. I have needs too.


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So much troubles in this World

Jan 12, 2024 at 11:36am

and it is obviously getting getting more challenging and perilous out there. But it can get better on the personal level. An Indigenous teaching is that when we grieve, we can be in our most sacred potential for calling in help. But we must always remember, we help ourselves through helping others .... OCM Sto:lo Coast Salish word for 'Best Wishes'

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Jan 12, 2024 at 6:33pm

Learning how to cut out toxic people in your life should be taught in school.

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I hear you

Jan 13, 2024 at 8:35am

I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been going through a rough time, and that you’re suffering from depression due to a family member passing. It’s a lot to face. I wish you peace and kindness even though we are strangers. I completely understand the bewilderment on being unfriendly by someone whom I thought was close to me. That you were there for them, and in time, they had nothing to give back to you, when you need it the most. You deserve people who will have your back, and this person showed they are not that supportive person. Call it a blessing in disguise where you are making room for better people in your life. A longtime friend unfriended me as well. I was initially very hurt and baffled with “did I say/do something wrong?” rumination. The fact is, is that I accepted that my friend saw no value in me and that I could be eliminated. I still occasionally run into them due to social circles, but I will never chase after them for answers. All things end, friendships included. Look forward, not backward now. I believe you have much to give to others who will value you. Sending strength your way!

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Jan 13, 2024 at 11:15pm

Is a word we use everyday
Most the time we use it in the wrong way
Now you can look the word up, again and again
But the dictionary doesn't know the meaning of friends

And if you ask me, you know, I couldnt be much help
Because A friend is somebody you judge for yourself
Some are ok, and they treat you real cool
But some mistake kindness for bein a fool

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Jan 14, 2024 at 12:34am

I'm really sorry to hear this. Most of my friends abandoned me after my husband died. Good friends. His friends did too. We had built those relationships over a decade or more. F*ck them all. One day they will have loss and I will not have time when they come out of the woodwork expecting sympathy. Our society has a really messed up way of dealing with / trying to avoid death.

4 3Rating: +1

Carry On

Jan 15, 2024 at 8:59am

Sorry about the death in your family. Do you have other family members with whom you could share this loss and the grieving? It's not likely that your ex-friend even knows about the death if she unfriended you before it happened.

To be honest, the way you write makes you sound fairly demanding. Since you can't do anything about your ex-friend's decision, maybe the best thing to do would be to focus on healing with your family. Good luck.

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