Would you date yourself?

They say if your answer is yes, then you are ready to be in a relationship. My answer is no. I’ve been told that I’m very likeable in appearance and personable. I am loving, considerate, witty, playful and have a good heart. But I don’t make enough money! I feel I’m not good enough to have a relationship with someone if I don’t have the extra money to enjoy life with someone. And I noticed now lots of guys want someone to share 50% of all the bills. I don’t have any debt, never had any in my life, but I also don’t own a place or a car. I rely all on myself. I can only pay for all my survival and little bit of extra expenses. I gave up on wanting a boyfriend or a partner because of this reason. Because I don’t earn enough. It’s a bit sad because I know I am a wonderful human being and can put in a lot in a relationship.

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That comment in yesterdays topic @Huh?

Jan 31, 2024 at 10:27am

with the lyrics to the song 'Young Love' will help you and all of us. Loneliness is traumatic. It causes health problems and shortens our life span.

1 0Rating: +1

Well OP

Jan 31, 2024 at 12:19pm

It's reasonable for guys to want 50/50 on bills as most of them have been financially abused by women.

As for your other reasons- almost all guys don't really care what you make per year. So long as you are a nice person, not always argumentative, are reasonably fit and take car of yourself and are fun to be with...you are in.
I regret it took me 20 years to figure that out.

Yup it’s true

Jan 31, 2024 at 4:34pm

Vancouver men are mostly looking for sugar mamas. It’s where women come to shrivel up all alone unless they’re rich girls!! Been like this for a while. I have experienced the same thing with many men here and so have most women I know, I grew up on the west side and am very educated but could t find a way to make much money here and so always found it super hard to find a guy!!!!! Your post is needed as it’s something that is very real in this city for women but doesn’t get talked about. Then the guys don’t like it either when we focus on ourselves and stop chasing them but what are we supposed to do?? The struggle is real

5 6Rating: -1

Wondering

Jan 31, 2024 at 4:58pm

Might the financial reasoning be a front for lack of confidence and/or a need to “caregive” as a way of proving worth? Do you have a tendency to overwork or overcompensate as a trauma response?

I think a lot of people are struggling with money right now but the right person would make it work with you.

3 0Rating: +3

Don't

Jan 31, 2024 at 6:17pm

sell yourself short

Anyone worth their salt wouldn't care about how much you earn or how much you make

13 1Rating: +12

@Yup

Feb 1, 2024 at 9:52am

It's almost funny how you equate wanting to split bills 50/50, to guys wanting a sugar mama. As if you're the princess who should have all her bills paid for.

You said you can't make much money, and because of that you couldn't find a guy- when guys don't really care how much a woman makes. As poster above stated.
Perhaps you're using your poverty as an excuse for your lack of dating success- instead of knowing the reason why and improving on that?

It's not that it's "super hard" to find a guy, it's just that you can't find one in the top 10%- despite "chasing after men" with a quick glance and tiny smile. We all know women NEVER approach men.

OP sounds like a lovely lady, I'd snap her up but am moving.
You with all your hostility and false narratives-no thank you.

3 8Rating: -5

This is true

Feb 1, 2024 at 10:19am

I was on welfare in the mid 90s and was dating a guy who didn’t want to move in together because he was afraid he’d have to take care of me. (Yeah, I was stupidly in-love with him, but his actions & lack of actions showed that he wasn’t in-love with me and was just using me for someone to fuck, so I broke up with him) Now I’m a millionaire and he still has to work full time to pay his bills.

15 1Rating: +14

@Yup

Feb 1, 2024 at 4:16pm

Despite there being a couple hundred thousand single guys around- you can't find a single one.
So instead of looking inward, you lash out and make up false narratives -"sugar mama"- in order to make yourself feel better, and to avoid taking responsibility for your lacking.

6 9Rating: -3

I get it

Feb 2, 2024 at 4:39am

I spent many wasted years in a situationship with the cheapest human on the planet. At no time did this person ever support me, and in fact used my resources for their own benefit. I try not to think about how much better off I would have been without them in my life, financially as well as physically and emotionally. Now I’m working on healing from all that trauma, and getting back on my feet financially, but I don’t feel like I’m ready for any relationship, and that’s partly because I can’t afford to go out to restaurants or do anything that’s expensive, and I don’t want someone claiming that I’m a gold digger if they have more money than I do. I’d be happy to find someone of equal means however, so that we could share our resources and help us both, without that whole attitude hanging over the situation.

7 0Rating: +7

@@Yup

Feb 2, 2024 at 11:19am

I’ve lived in Vancouver my entire life going back to the 80’s and yes, it’s a very superficial place. The men of means generally are looking for a ‘power couple’ dynamic with someone impressive in a materialistic sense. I couldn’t snag one of these as I wasn’t from the top 1% rich set. The other guys of low to middle income were indeed looking to be saved a bit and generally thought that as makes they were entitled to the ‘perfect’ woman who can provide them with housing and treats, etc. I once went on a date with a firefighter who, on the very first and last time we went out, informed me that he’s looking for a woman with money to buy a condo!! He ridiculed me because I had just returned from travelling in SE Asia and was staying with a friend in Kits. That was in 2007. I went on another date with a different guy who lived on a tug boat who informed me that my condo I had just bought was not at least a million in value and therefore unimpressive!! I dated a guy for three years who, prior to me, did live with a sugar mama but he complained that he hadn’t enjoyed her aging body as much as my younger one. He criticized me for not having a lot of extra cash, was cheap as they come and then left me and blew all his savings on a solo trip only to return and declare he wanted to potentially marry me if I would move to Asia with him for his work, I declined and he was outta here with no discussion!! Every girl I know who grew up here has similar stories. It’s definitely full of men looking to be saved a bit

5 1Rating: +4

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