Not my secret

If you made the choice to do the crime against me, you don’t get to tell me how I have to react to it. You don’t get to tell me not to tell anyone. There’s no non disclosure agreement in a relationship, and if you wanted blind loyalty then you should have been someone worthy of that. If you’re so afraid of what people will think about you then be a good person for real! Good people don’t lie and manipulate and try to control the people they claim to love. Good people don’t try to blame their victim for their own actions. Good people don’t do what you did. I will talk about it as much as I need to in order to cope with the impact it’s had on my life.

17 Comments

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@ Not my secret

Feb 12, 2024 at 11:32am

Good post ! The incidence of NPD Narcisist Personality Dissorder is so friggin prevalent in our culture (or should it be said anti-culture). In my life I'm learning not to tangle with the offenders. Its best to just steer clear of them in the first place. ps: the NPD disorder should not be confused with the NDP :-) Its actually the NDP, who brought in Universal Health Care, first in Saskatchewan and then all of Canada. And nowadays its the NDP who have leveraged the Libs into bringing in Universal Dental Care.

4 3Rating: +1

B Diddy

Feb 12, 2024 at 6:47pm

*grabs popcorn and a mug*

Go on, spill the tea!

1 0Rating: +1

Anonymous

Feb 12, 2024 at 8:29pm

Having grown up in a toxic family it's horrible and corrupting when you're forced to cover up for them.

These days have changed my tune, and am now more than happy to tell anyone the truth, which seems to make my toxic family members upset that I would say such horrible(100% true) things.

For me though, it's a liberating experience not to cover their tracks.

4 1Rating: +3

Your move

Feb 13, 2024 at 12:13am

Have they told you what to do with yourself? You can say and think whatever you want about them whether it's true or not doesn't matter. People will watch their actions and determine whether you're a jealously obsessed and delusional liar or not. Personally, I don't go digging pits for people to fall into if I don't care to fall into them myself.

4 1Rating: +3

Sorry

Feb 13, 2024 at 6:14am

Sorry to hear you are hurting. No one deserves to feel that pain. As long as you are talking to get support and navigate your feelings talk as much as you want. If you are out to get revenge though it might leave you feeling more distraught. Remember as well, you are not a victim, you are a survivor. Someone did something wrong towards you. You are a casualty of their actions. Treat yourself kind.

2 0Rating: +2

He/She May be an ass,

Feb 13, 2024 at 8:48am

But you have the ability to do the right thing and NOT use this to expel vile anger… there are much healthier ways…BE the change… for REAL change.

4 0Rating: +4

@your move

Feb 13, 2024 at 4:58pm

That might be true if it wasn’t for the fact that lots of abuse happens when other people can’t see it. Some of the “nicest people ever!” are abusive jerks to their significant other. If all abusers were so obvious and abusive to everyone, it wouldn’t be so hard to spot them before you get involved with one, would it? But the reality is that some people will only be abusive to certain people in their lives. Usually the ones they feel safest with because they’ve manipulated them into trusting them before they begin the abuse. Frequently that abuse starts with small things, and over time it increases so insidiously that the target of it questions if it’s actually happening. It’s also so typical in these times for people to blame the victim or say things like “I would never…!(fill in the blank)”. So, if you’ve never experienced it then consider yourself lucky.

1 0Rating: +1

@he she

Feb 15, 2024 at 1:24am

I’m allowed to be angry. I will not be silenced because it makes them or anyone else uncomfortable. Anger in itself is not vile. Telling someone that they don’t get to express it when it’s deserved IS vile however. It’s also not my responsibility to be the change or set an example or anything else. If someone does something that harms you and others then the consequences of that behaviour are that they face the righteous wrath of those who they harmed. Who are you to decide what “the right thing” is?

Personally I’m sick of people preaching about being the bigger person and keeping quiet when someone has done something really awful to them. All that does is protect the person who did the harm, which makes it even easier for that person to do it again to someone else.

3 4Rating: -1

@@ he/she

Feb 15, 2024 at 4:31pm

The consequences are for the universe to dish out… when you do it, it’s vengeance.

5 0Rating: +5

What was done

Feb 15, 2024 at 7:02pm

Has it changed your life forever?

0 0Rating: 0

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