One fight, one truth

Fuc. I was an idiot for thinking I had friends that valued me as much as I valued them. I don't think they'd put out their reputation or neck for anybody. I'm seeing the brightside of canceling them out, I wouldn't want to lean on them at a later time on my life. Gotta love urself. Also, how can u watch someone suffer, know how to fix it and do sht all? Not my kind of people. Those are stupid people who are dangerously selfish

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These same relationship issues on the personal level

Mar 14, 2024 at 10:11am

that we all experience, are being experienced in the global contortions of international relationships. I hope the human race grows up and evolves enough to avoid catastrophe. I put my hope in the 'Butterfly Effect.' That small positive changes on the personal level can start a chain reaction towards more and more changes on the international levels.

6 4Rating: +2

Too easy

Mar 14, 2024 at 12:02pm

To begin to weed them out- just keep track of how many times you text or call them. Chances are it's 90/10
Plus if you always have to end up travelling to make it easy for them to go out- it's easy to see they won't put anything in.

So stop calling, suggest they meet up closer to your place- and the rest should be simple to figure out..after all I figured this out at 20

5 4Rating: +1

The ugly truth

Mar 14, 2024 at 3:53pm

If you're posting from Vancouver, you may never have real friends, just playmates, since so few have the emotional maturity to be a friend. Fair weather friends as they're called.

5 10Rating: -5

You weren't an idiot.

Mar 14, 2024 at 6:04pm

If you approach your connections from a place of good faith, it's very hard to understand the motivations of manipulative, entitled people until you're significantly drained—emotionally, financially, and physically. Happens to the best of us. Lesson learned, and sounds like you are thinking clearly and on the road to better. Yes to self love!

6 4Rating: +2

@You weren’t

Mar 14, 2024 at 8:11pm

That’s true. It took me many decades to realize that not everyone believes in fair play. Lots of people are just users who will take whatever they can get from other people without a thought about how that person might feel. I’ve stopped trying to connect with people like that, and although I have less “friends”, I no longer feel used or taken advantage of. If someone values you, they will show it by their actions.

4 3Rating: +1

Stuck my head out…

Mar 15, 2024 at 4:13am

too many times, and guess what happened? It made it really easy for those who needed someone to blame to find a target. How many times I spoke up on behalf of coworkers who complained about the mistreatment they were getting from management, or went to bat for them to get fair pay, etc. Then when management got mad, guess who suddenly became quiet and let all the anger be directed at me? I wasn’t even part of their team and I was being paid more than they were, so I literally risked my own job for those people and got nothing but s*** in return. That was only one instance and in my various careers there were others. Eventually I just got tired of standing up for others who wouldn’t do the same for me. The old saying about being careful when you stick your neck out because it makes it easier for someone to chop it off is true.

4 3Rating: +1

A fellow head-sticker-outer

Mar 15, 2024 at 10:15am

@ Stuck... your comment resonated strongly with me. I used to be the person who said what everyone else at the meeting was thinking and then they would come to my office afterwards - individually - and tell me how great it was that I said that. Eventually, I just told these people, "That's great, but you sat there silently instead of backing me up in the meeting where it counts. Don't bother coming to me with your support when there's nobody around to see it. Get out." People were shocked. I was pissed. But nobody. NOBODY. ever spoke up when it mattered. I'm retired now and they are now up to their necks in professional sewage because the only 2 or 3 people with guts got old and left.

4 3Rating: +1

If I could

Mar 19, 2024 at 4:45pm

I’d still be friends with everyone I’ve known that liked me. But they often fade away after they get married &/or have kids and I don’t.
C’est la vie.

3 1Rating: +2

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