shaking

posted November 25th, 2012 at 11:12 AM

I get panic attacks when my husband goes away. I can't sleep at night, I hear things in the house, and I worry that he is cheating on me. I know he would never, but I had an abusive, cheating, manipulative ex that made me crazy in situations like this. I trust my husband, and I don't tell him about these panic attacks, but they are there and they are brutal and I am a wreck. I still have 3 more days until he gets home, and I feel overwhelmed with anxiety and loneliness. I don't know anyone in this city outside of work, so its so hard to distract myself. I feel pathetic and stupid for the way I feel, and I hope he never finds out. I don't want him to feel bad about going away or feel like I am trying to control him in any way.. so I keep this to myself. and you.

4 Comments

Knight

Nov 26, 2012 at 6:08pm

Find a cognitive-behavioural therapist who can help you deal with the thoughts that are giving rise to your panic. Please try not to feel stupid or ashamed. Many, many people struggle with panic and anxiety, and everyone has irrational thoughts sometimes. Yours are just a bit out of control, so I would really urge you to find a professional to work on this with.

therobotmonster

Nov 26, 2012 at 11:23pm

I think you should consider talking to your husband instead of a therapist. If this was happening to my wife, I would want to know about it. Although leave out the cheating part, it sounds like he doesn't deserve those suspicions.

been there

Nov 28, 2012 at 8:10pm

Recently, I began to have panic attacks. I felt hijacked by my emotions and very alone. I sought out the help of a Somatic Psychotherapist. I've been able to release the stored up energy that was being expressed in panic and fear. For me, this type of therapy was effective because talking about trauma made me more afraid and I was not able to move forward. Being able to experience the panic and fear in a safe place with a therapist who is teaching me how to listen to my (very intelligent) body and not dissociate has been extremely liberating.

Please take care of yourself!

A book I found very comforting and informative is "Waking the Tiger" by Peter A. Levine. His website is also interesting.